No Good or Bad

So I decided that I'm not going to worry about the scale's numbers. I was thinking about it, and I generally gain about 1-3lbs of water weight when I'm pmsing, and this week, I've stayed at 222 so, it must mean that I've lost a little since I haven't gained right? Right. hopefully :) Like I said before, I'm not going to let it discourage me. I am free to obsess a little about it though haha.

Today the book talked about not making food a moral issue and using works like good and bad. You shouldn't say, "I was bad today and ate five cupcakes." It used the example of carrots being a good food and brownies being a bad food. What makes them good and bad? Nothing really...it's just a choice you make. So the author says to once again, take control of your food choices and stop "moralizing" food by using vocabulary like cheating, good, or bad. It's hard, because I always...feel bad when I eat food that's not good for me. Yesterday I was craving salt like a mofo, and was munching on chips, while mentally calculating the calories I was consuming. I felt a little bad, but I think KNOWING that I was going to track the calories and being aware of what I was doing made me feel less guilty, and more of the mindset "Hey, I wanted the chips. Maybe not the best choice to have them sitting next to me and munching. But I did it." And I put the chips away from me in the pass through after that. When you boil it down to choices, there still are some "ugh" feelings there, but you definitely don't feel as hopeless and obsessive about it. Which, is nice I gotta say :)

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:5-7

This verse always sticks out to me, especially because I have issues with anxiety and worrying about EVERYTHING. Worry about my life, worrying about my future, worrying about my job, my family, my relationships. Goodness. The biggest thing I worry about is my future, and in that worry, I tend to plan a lot. I'll try to "make something of it" and map it out. This has happened most recently when I've decided to do a MPA/Peace Corps stint. And as I've gotten control of my life and started "living it to the fullest," I've realized that I just need to live my life, and be happy and content, and as I live, the opportunities and what makes sense for me to move on to next WILL come. I have to be open to it, and I have to be living, but that's it. If I present my worries about my future to God, he will not only give me peace about it, he'll guide my way and erase any anxiety on my part about how to get there. He'll help slowly, but surely, get me there. He's done it all of my life, and I'm sure he'll do it again.