Feeling SHITTY!

Ugh. I feel like crapola. I haven't been getting enough sleep, after my run on Tuesday, I haven't worked out (besides the running up and down stairs/playing tag at work), and I haven't been eating healthy. What makes it a little better is to know that I'm not the only one struggling, so I don't feel alone. My body feels gross though. I miss working out. Working at 7am is not working for me at all. Eh.

Plus, I think I have an infected hair follicle/cyst. I have these tights that hit me right at my natural waist, and right where they've hit me I've developed this huge, painful, red lump. It's kinda gone up and down in size, but it hurts really bad. I had one of these when I was 17, and I let it go away and didn't get it looked at. Three months later I was in the hospital for emergency surgery. So, I have an appt. tomorrow. I'm worried that I'm gonna have to have surgery which means I'll have to take sick leave and actually go home to Lakewood so my mom can help me with packing/keeping the wound drained. This means more not working out and just laying around. Sigh. I really hope that they can take care of it in the Dr's office and we won't have to do any surgery since I'm getting it taken care of early. We'll see.

I am however, feeling really good about myself as far as my job and what I've accomplished in other areas...even in some choices that I've made this week that have been better than others. So, not a completely crappy week, I'm just kinda feel sloppy and worried about the cyst/abscess thing. Sigh.

yay growth!

So, I am very proud of myself. I had Adam out the door with my order of a double bacon burger and onion rings from Kidd Valley. I ended up calling him up and canceling and getting a gyro instead. I am so happy I didn't get that bacon burger! Also, I packed sweat pants to go running today, and I did it. I actually did an 11 minute mile which surprised me! I'm going to do the running thing all week this week as I'm working at 7am every day and I've already found out that 5am does not coincide with working out. Blech. And, we'll see after this week, but I might just continue to do the running on the weekends to start getting in shape for the 5k Bec signed us up for. My endurance has definitely gone up and I'm so encouraged :) Ugh, I can totally tell I'm about to start my period. My fingers look like sausages hahaha. I have to blog more about changes and growth, but that'll have to wait. God is doing some...amazing things in me. I'm feeling very humbled, convicted, appreciated, loved, happy, grateful, etc. and I have to say I LOVE my job and I LOVE the people I work with very very much. God is good to me.

weigh in

So, I complained all weekend that I was going to gain weight. I didn't exercise nearly enough, hardly tracked, ate out, and pigged out a bit. Annnnnnnd....I lost 1 lb. I'm not happy, but I'm not mad either. 228.2 on the dot. One pound is better than no pounds, and is waaaaaaaay better than a gain. So, I'll take it. Sigh. Period is going to start any minute now so I'll have a low week next week too. Bah. It's ok, I'm keeping at this and I'm so proud of myself!

slacker!

I have totally slacked on this thing all weekend! I've been a terrible eater this weekend as well. I weighed myself on my mom's scale, which I know weighs five lbs heavier, and it registered me at a 4 lb weight loss. Which, I don't believe, so I can't wait to get home and weigh myself for real ;) I've learned a lot of stuff about myself this weekend, and it's been a good thing--internally and externally. Awesome thing that I was excited about--was that I walked up a huge hill without being the least bit out of breath...and I did intervals without getting out of breath. I ran for a long time and was ok!!!! My endurance has kicked up and I'm actually excited about running and be able to do a 5k. There's a "couch potato to 5k" training thing that I think I'm gonna start doing. I really enjoy running and I can't wait to switch up my working out with different things like other work out DVDs, DDR, and outside stuff. Once I hit my 10% mark, I'm going to start strength training...which should be interesting. I got some new DVDs off of Amazon and I'm totally stoked for the challenge. My mom said I didn't have my double chin anymore! hahaha that was great. She was like "I'm so used to seeing you with it that I keep having to do double takes...you have a distinct jawline!!" It was fun to exercise with her and I'm so very happy to have my family and other support around me. Huzzah!

Man this blog was very "stream of consciousness" writing. ;)