Don't Even Start

The book talked about food triggers and how often the first bite of something sweet/salty/overall tempting can lead you down a bad road. So it suggests that you don 't even take the first bite. Instead, if you know that the food is going to rule you instead of you ruling it, you should use self talk to resist. Phrases like "don't even start" or "live above the crowd" etc. said to yourself over and over again are supposed to help you. You also decide if the voice should be soft/gentle, or firm, or IN YOUR FACE. Haha. I found this to be a little cheesy, but it's ok advice I suppose. We'll see if it's needed :)

"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; before the "gods" I will sing your praise. I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word.  When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted." Psalm 138:1-3

Stimulus Narrowing

Today the book talked about narrowing your stimulus. What does this mean? It means saying "no" immediately to a temptation then walking away or getting rid of it. The example they used was a brownie in the staff room. If you look at the brownie and say "mmm I want it." Then stay an linger, thinking about it, passing by it, etc., your resolve will weaken and you're more likely to scarf that brownie down. But if you say "nope, off limits" and walk away, you're more likely to resist temptation. I do this alot! I think "mmmm now and laters" and I just focus on it until I get them. Or "mmm cupcakes" and it makes it so much harder to resist them cause you think of how moist and delicious they are. It's def better to just say "no, I can't have it" and not ponder on it. Even the "should I, should I not...how many calories is in this...etc." ponder is bad for me.

Anyway! I'm back on track...this week I made shrimp fajitas that were pretty damn good. Yum. Ate an apple with a little pb and now I'm about to work out. Gotta get back in the mix and finish what I started in January :)

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and immediately forgets what he looks like.  But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it--he will be blessed in what he does." James 1:22-25

Ah the combination of hearing AND doing. Sometimes it's so hard to do the right thing even when you know what the right thing is.

Goals

I just want to repeat the fact that I'm really thankful for the encouraging people in my life as far as weight loss. Surprisingly one of my biggest helps and motivators has been Meghan, a woman from my work. She just...speaks the truth...good and bad and I'm really enjoying her encouragement, wise advice, humor, and realism about this whole journey. I was telling her how I had a goal of being in the "0's" by the time DC was here and when I was about 2 weeks in kinda gave up on that. She encouraged me to have a goal so I at least have something to work for. So. I want to be out of the 200s by the time the first day of school starts. Also, I want to be able to run a 5k. I think this summer I want to start training for a 5K, and by the end of summer, I want to run one. It should be an interesting time, but I think I can do it.

I just wanted to say that I tried on a skirt that had been too small for me about 2 months ago, and now it's sliding off my body. Also, my swimsuit that was stretched to the limit last summer is now perfect on me. Perfect. It looks...so good. Now if only my thighs can get under control haha. Okie Dokie, time to get in the b.e.d.

Instant tool for food triggers

The book talked about ways to STOP eating once you've started gorging on food. The biggest tip they give is to brush your teeth. It changes the flavors in your mouth and usually will make you stop eating. Another thing is to use another food of the opposite flavor--so if you're eating something sweet, suck a lemon wedge. Lastly, they say to use the "not yet" line or just get out of the situation. I suppose it's good advice, I just can't imagine carrying a toothbrush around with me. On a side note, I worked out hard today and it felt amazing. And yesterday I actually felt better during the day after working out. So, here's to today :)

"Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me." Psalm 54:4

Buffers

"Whenever possible, put some distance between you and your high-risk, problem foods. Instead of trying so hard to improve your willpower, simply don't allow yourself to be tempted in the first place."  I really liked this chapter because it put an emphasis on helping yourself by not allowing food you KNOW you're going to gorge on in your house. I do a pretty good job of being able to keep myself on gorging on everything EXCEPT candy. Candy is a HUGE weakness for me. Especially fruity candy, and bite sized chocolate. Hand my a full sized chocolate bar, I'll eat it and not want more. Have a bowl of fun sized chocolate bars, I'll eat 6 or more and still want to snack on them. Skittles, starbursts, or now and laters? Forget about it. Yesterday I pretty much ate a whole bag of now and laters before 2pm. Terrible. So, I don't keep candy in my apartment. I don't like having it at work either, but, I can manage a little better there because I don't have to sit at a desk anymore being tempted. I'm glad I'm back in the groove. This feels right :)

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise." Psalm 111:10

I've been learning to be humbled and truly in awe of God lately. It's not like a "fear" as in he's going to to whip me in shape if I'm bad, but a fear as in "holy shit, you do know what you're talking about...maybe I should try to listen and stop being such a d-bag." or as in "holy shit, you are. amazing. I can't believe you even talk to me." God is good.

I'm BAAAAACCCCCCK!

After a brief stint of not blogging, then not exercising, then a whole host of other issues, I am back.  Getting sick really threw me off course, more than I can express. I wish it had never happened, but, there's nothing I can really do to remedy it so I'm moving forward.

I have been feeling like ubercrap lately. Sluggish, can't sleep, nauseous, no appetite, etc. It's been kinda weird, as I've been fighting (and failing) the urge to diagnose myself and spend hours on WebMD and other forums figuring it if I'm dying, pregnant, or just basically fucked up. All anxiety and hypochondria aside, I've decided that the best way to combat feeling crappy that I know, is to get back to the basics. 

I've found that I've kinda (not fully, but in the willpower sense) given up on the whole healthy lifestyle thing. I keep everything in mind, and I still count calories, and I would every once in awhile exercise, but the dedication thing fell off. I blame the sickness, which, you know is easy and is partially true, but I think three months in and 30 lbs off is just generally a good time to say..."hey, wow, I've accomplished a lot...let's slack off a bit..." And that bit turns into another bit, then another. I haven't gained weight, I've maintained--well I've fluctuated between 222-218 which is pretty much the weight I was at before I was sick. So that makes me happy.  However, I want to get back to losing weight, eating healthy, and saving money.

So what are the basics? Being accountable with this blog first and foremost by reading and writing my thoughts. Also, exercising at least 35 minutes each day. Lastly, cooking food at home and bringing in my lunches. All those other things like avoiding sugar, drinking massive amounts of water, etc. will come along pretty quickly after but I really need to get the basics down again before I even TRY to accomplish the advanced. So. I exercised this morning. I even ate breakfast beforehand (You should be very proud). And I'm just writing to let you know...but mostly to let myself know, that I haven't given up. I haven't stopped, and I'm not going to be lackluster about this. I'm back.

so full.

I think I've eaten enough to fill me in two weekends. Ugh. I have that sick, blech feeling--I don't know if this is what heartburn feels like but I feel full all the way up to my neck. However, I have to say that I had a great time relaxing and hanging out with my family, and realizing so many things this weekend. So to heck with the 10 lbs I know I've gained this weekend. :) I've felt so much...confirmation, rest, release, and just...a certainty about my future that I can't deny. Tomorrow...actually Tuesday I will update with a weigh in and back to my normal schedule :) I love all of you who read and support me...even if I haven't mentioned it. I know you're there and that means the world to me! <3