not discouraged

So, my whole workout I was like "why did I only lose 1 lb?" Is it because I haven't been eating the right amount of calories (ie going under)? Is it because I'm working out too much? Is it because of PMS and period stuff? Is it because I didn't poop. The whole time I was thinking about it. I worked out, got back on the scale, 235.2. Well there's my 2 lbs. But it didn't feel satisfying...because I always weigh myself before I work out, and I wanted to be that weight before I worked out.

And as I'm thinking about this, I have to reiterate what I said before. One pound is fine. In fact, it's more than fine, it's great. I've lost one more pound than most people this week. I am ahead of the curve. On my mind is disappointment as I report back to the others my small weight loss, and the fact that they're probably going to lose at least 2 lbs and I just feel like a loser. But guess what? It doesn't matter. I'm not in this change to compete and compare myself to others. I'm in it to get support and to support others and to do what I need to do to be healthy.

You know what? I weighed myself and then put my shirt back on, and I was like "ick, why is it wet?" Then I realized it was my sweat. I work out so hard that I sweat. Gross, but awesome. I have been doing this faithfully for 20 days. I've been watching my calories, making better choices, exercising, sleeping well. I haven't felt this good in a long time. My life is coming together in so many ways and I have so many things to be thankful for. Only 1 lb my ass. I lost one fucking pound! That's something to be proud of. And I ate out THREE times this week (bbq pork, fries, and a salad with ranch on monday, footlong sub on friday, and chicken strip salad with ranch on saturday). And I still lost a pound. So there bad attitude. In your face. I'm not going to let my dysfunctional, unreasonable self talk me out of something I should be happy about.

My goals for this week are to work out 6 days for at least 36 minutes. I also want to keep my calories within the range. I keep going under, and I want to be more consistent about that. I also want to make sure my apartment is clean and I get some laundry done this week. Oh yea, and send out those letters. gah!