thoughts

So, today (as we have been most of the week) we talked about our new "weight loss/life goals" challenge that we want to do at work. We then somehow got on the topic of weight, and how much people weighed. Meghan was POSITIVE that I weighed less than her, and I kept telling her that that was inaccurate. So finally I just told her--Meghan, my starting weight was 246. She absolutely did not believe me. I told her "why would I lie about something like that?" And she refused to believe me. I told Augustine and Adam eventually, and they both didn't believe me or were shocked when I told them. Oh yea, I told them I wanted to lose 110 lbs total and they looked at me like I was going to end up weighing 80-100 lbs.

One, it's good to know that I didn't look like I weighed that much. I know I'm well proportioned and carry my weight well--Augustine said it first but everyone else agreed...it's because I'm black haha. But also, it feels really good to speak those words and for there to be no secrecy or shame about it. Of course, I don't want it shouted to the rooftops, but it feels good that I can trust them with that number.

Also, Meghan said something interesting to me that I'm definitely going to consider. We were talking about how beautiful Jennifer Hudson is, and she was like "I don't think you need to lose 110 lbs. I think you would be absolutely happy at 160 lbs and that it would look really well on you." It was definitely an eye opening because I have this idea that 125-130 is how I'll look my best. But, does that mean I'll lose my curves? Does it mean I'll lose my lusciousness, my booty, my boobs? If so, she's right. I don't want to be 125 lbs. So I'm going to change my goal to 150lbs.

The awesome thing? When I type in 150 lbs as my goal weight, it says I can be that weight by November of this year if I lose 2 lbs a week. That's so incredibly exciting and encouraging. Now, I know that I'll probably not be able to do it that quickly, and there will be rough patches...but to even know it's possible gets me super jazzed and encourages me to keep at it. I haven't been thin...ever. I've always felt chubby (even when I wasn't). Ok so I was thin up until 6th grade...then puberty and the awkwardness hit and even though I wasn't that big, I still felt big. Now that I think about it, I've always been a little more curvaceous that my other friends, and I just always thought I was fat. But I realize that wasn't really so. Hindsight is 20/20. I'm excited for my goals :)