My biggest fear about this promotion is that it won't happen. Meghan told Adam that he could begin telling people, but that if he tells people and it doesn't happen, they we'll just have to deal. And she was like, "Robin hasn't approved it yet, but there's only a .001 chance that she won't approve it. Maybe she'll say no because of her feud with Nita." And that, made me feel so shitty. I was like, wtf? My first thought it well I don't want to tell anyone if it's not going to happen. And my second thought it, why the hell would you say that Meghan? Why would you put me through this rollercoaster of doubt and fear. It'll be so...disappointed and humiliating if I don't get this promotion. And for some reason, I feel like something bad is bound to happen because life has been so good for me. Isn't that terrible? That I have this kind of thinking? I can't help myself though...I'm a bit of a pessimist at heart. I just want to know that it's done and approved so I can get on with my life. Seriously.
To add onto that "also," Adam ended up telling Abbi about my promotion. She came up to me at the end of the day and said "Congratulations on your new promotion. I'm really happy for you." And I was so happy that she said that, but it's so hard for me to be happy when I see tears and frustration in her eyes because she hasn't been able to find a job for the past 6 or 7 months. And I say words to placate and to make her feel better, but nothing that I say in that moment makes her feel better. I feel so terrible, and I want to talk to her, but I have no idea what I can say that won't sound trite. Sigh. I hope and pray that she finds something. And I'm glad that she has Augustine to help her in this really rough time.
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