Ditch the Critic

Ok, I stared off into space for a good 2-5 minutes just now. I really need to get to bed on time so waking up isn't so hard to do. I'm pretty sore too from all that running, but it's a good sore. A "I played really hard yesterday" kind of sore. In other news, that 10 lbs came on just about as fast as it came off. Now that I'm retaining water again (instead of it rushing out every 10 minutes), it seems that my body has said "f-you you have to work for those 10 lbs woman." Which, is ok I suppose, I'm just a little bitter. I was liking those numbers on the scale :) Speaking of the scale, I wish it would move a little faster if you know what I mean. I'm getting tired of seeing all the same numbers. I think I really liked the part of being sick where the numbers moved 2 lbs every day, and I wish that real weight loss was actually like that. I need to get my head around the fact that it's not :/ Yesterday, I didn't help myself by going to 7-11 on the field trip and buying all sorts of unhealthy snacks for Adam and I. That was totally bogus. Ah well, today is a new day, and I'll remember to bring my healthy yummy food that I got on Wednesday.

Ok so the book. Today it talked about stopping the negative self talk. When you use words like "failure" "loser" etc. as words to motivate yourself not to do bad things, it generally just drags you down. Apparently your brain registers it and tries to make them true. Basically, be gentle with yourself. Love yourself. Say positive things to yourself.  It's all in the framework of choices and taking back your power of food...and basically yourself. Living healthy is a hard choice, but it's a good choice and a worthwhile choice. The fact that I or anyone else is even attempting and making better choices in life is wonderful, and we should remember that--not to say "oh I was wonderful for a day, now I can eat 10 cookies." But in a "man, I made good choices today...I bet I can do that tomorrow again."

With weight loss, I'm most competitive with myself. I can't look around at other people and compare, because we're all different. I can take tips from them. I can see what they're doing and try to do something similar, but I can't be them. At this moment, I can't run a whole 3 miles without walking. But I know I can run at least a lap...and that's awesome. I can't (or won't) be vegan like my boss who's trying to lose weight. I can make healthier meat choices and eat more fruits, veggies, and whole grains though. I can't necessarily do what everyone else can do, but I can do the best that I can do--and that's what matters the most. I'm really proud of myself and the progress I've made. I'm going to stick with it, because it makes me feel amazing :)

"Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." Eph 5:15-16

I want to make the most of life as it's offered to me. I want life to the fullest. When I think of my life, and paths that I can take to get me where I need to go, I think that I want to take the paths that are the fullest, richest, and most beneficial. I want paths full of laughter, opportunities, family, love, friendship, success from failure, generosity, community, etc. I want experiences that teach, shape, and mold me into a better person. Choices, choices, choices...