Monday, January 11, 2010
today
Today I woke up at 7 wanting to wash and straighten my hair and look cute today. I'm looking at the clock and my "reading/devotion" time has expanded to 45 minutes. Which is not necessarily a bad thing...but if I want to exercise and eat breakfast AND pack a healthy lunch without being late for work...the whole hair business is going to have to wait until tonight. Sigh. So I will work out, I'm going to make breakfast and prep lunch, and I'll make sure we have paint for the apartment (argh), as well as prep my thank you letters to go out. Ok. time to get ready for the day!
Protect Your Program
"No one will ever care as much about your diet plan as you. So it's your job to prevent people or events from pulling you off track. Instead of depending on others to help you be successful with your diet, make a commitment that you will 'protect your program at all costs!"
I like the way that this is phrased because it one, places importance on my decision to lose weight. And two it makes it quite clear that not only is it important, but it also is something worth being protected. The book says to watch for, recognize, and avoid situations in which you might be tempted. Then it goes on to give you a key phrase to say to people when they offer you food "not just yet" or some variation of that. It says that if people continue to push, you're supposed to repeat that phrase, and basically avoid and stall and that "no one will notice you never ate at the party." I don't agree with that kind of avoid/stall kind of mindset. I think being honest and saying "It was very good, but I'm trying to watch portions" Is perfectly fine to say. If someone is offended or doesn't understand, they're probably very DENSE.
They also said to avoid discussion about diet and weight loss because "talking about food make us want to eat." I'm not sure that's true. If we're sitting around talking about scrumptious food, ok I get that. But talking with someone about your weight loss, struggles, etc. do not necessarily make one hungry. In fact, those conversations tend to be the most encouraging because people are usually have their own stories of trying to become healthier people.
It says to protect your program during "long empty times" like evenings or weekends. This is a great tip. Evenings and weekends have generally been my biggest "emotional eating" time. I generally just eat out of boredom instead of when I'm hungry. I'm proud to say that I did a great job of monitoring my eating habits this weekend and successfully stayed on my program. Go me!
High Risk Times
--Work. I tend to eat more/want to snack more at work.
--Being out with friend. We usually go to bars/places that are generally not very healthy.
--Weekends/Evenings. I usually get the "i'm bored I want to eat" feeling
--Parent's hose. They always have food like corn dogs, etc. (Along with healthy food) but I always want to eat the corn dogs and ice cream.
Protecting my Program
--At work I'll bring healthy snacks like popcorn and pre-sorted (can't think of the right word!) cookies. If I decide to snack on something I'll look at the calories, decide if it's worth it, then take one serving.
--If I'm out with a friend, I'll first try to plan my eating that day so that I can eat more calories when I'm out. If it's spontaneous, then I'll try to order the healthiest thing on the menu.
--I have been focused on having easy to make foods as well as things I enjoy eating. I'm also practicing self control and asking myself "am I really hungry?" SparkPeople has been helping me b/c I track my calories and that's a big motivator.
--At my parent's house I'll take advantage of all those good snacks that they have around but nobody wants to eat. I'll talk with my mom about weight loss (she's on the same path) and we'll encourage each other. Maybe even work out together.
"I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: That if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him" 1 John 5:14-15.
The insecurity of whether or not I would go to heaven always weighed heavy on my mind when I was younger. I think all of those videos/teachings on the rapture and wrath of God really scared me and made me very unsure of his love...it made me very unsure of my love for him and I constantly felt not good enough. As I grew in my faith and realized that my faith and salvation were based on grace (and it took many years to figure that out), that confidence that I would be going to heaven and that I knew him kind of stuck. Every once in a awhile I'll wonder, but I always go back to the fact that "God knows my heart." He knows that I love him, and that I'm doing the best that I can to seek him and do his will. And I think that's all that he asks of us. Well in the lightest sense. I know there are other things, but to love God, and love people is pretty much the root of it all.
I love the part where it says "this is the confidence that we have in approaching God." It implies that it's not a King/Servant relationship, but it's a Father/Daughter relationship. When I approach my dad and ask him for something, I'm not afraid, and I have confidence that if it's something good for me, and that he can reasonably provide it, that he will. My dad does not want to hold back good things from me, and he would do anything in his power to help me. He can't help himself but he spoils me a bit as well too. This is how I see God. If it's "according to his will, he hears us....and we know that we have what we asked of him." That's a great word, and a great feeling. God is good.
I like the way that this is phrased because it one, places importance on my decision to lose weight. And two it makes it quite clear that not only is it important, but it also is something worth being protected. The book says to watch for, recognize, and avoid situations in which you might be tempted. Then it goes on to give you a key phrase to say to people when they offer you food "not just yet" or some variation of that. It says that if people continue to push, you're supposed to repeat that phrase, and basically avoid and stall and that "no one will notice you never ate at the party." I don't agree with that kind of avoid/stall kind of mindset. I think being honest and saying "It was very good, but I'm trying to watch portions" Is perfectly fine to say. If someone is offended or doesn't understand, they're probably very DENSE.
They also said to avoid discussion about diet and weight loss because "talking about food make us want to eat." I'm not sure that's true. If we're sitting around talking about scrumptious food, ok I get that. But talking with someone about your weight loss, struggles, etc. do not necessarily make one hungry. In fact, those conversations tend to be the most encouraging because people are usually have their own stories of trying to become healthier people.
It says to protect your program during "long empty times" like evenings or weekends. This is a great tip. Evenings and weekends have generally been my biggest "emotional eating" time. I generally just eat out of boredom instead of when I'm hungry. I'm proud to say that I did a great job of monitoring my eating habits this weekend and successfully stayed on my program. Go me!
High Risk Times
--Work. I tend to eat more/want to snack more at work.
--Being out with friend. We usually go to bars/places that are generally not very healthy.
--Weekends/Evenings. I usually get the "i'm bored I want to eat" feeling
--Parent's hose. They always have food like corn dogs, etc. (Along with healthy food) but I always want to eat the corn dogs and ice cream.
Protecting my Program
--At work I'll bring healthy snacks like popcorn and pre-sorted (can't think of the right word!) cookies. If I decide to snack on something I'll look at the calories, decide if it's worth it, then take one serving.
--If I'm out with a friend, I'll first try to plan my eating that day so that I can eat more calories when I'm out. If it's spontaneous, then I'll try to order the healthiest thing on the menu.
--I have been focused on having easy to make foods as well as things I enjoy eating. I'm also practicing self control and asking myself "am I really hungry?" SparkPeople has been helping me b/c I track my calories and that's a big motivator.
--At my parent's house I'll take advantage of all those good snacks that they have around but nobody wants to eat. I'll talk with my mom about weight loss (she's on the same path) and we'll encourage each other. Maybe even work out together.
"I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: That if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him" 1 John 5:14-15.
The insecurity of whether or not I would go to heaven always weighed heavy on my mind when I was younger. I think all of those videos/teachings on the rapture and wrath of God really scared me and made me very unsure of his love...it made me very unsure of my love for him and I constantly felt not good enough. As I grew in my faith and realized that my faith and salvation were based on grace (and it took many years to figure that out), that confidence that I would be going to heaven and that I knew him kind of stuck. Every once in a awhile I'll wonder, but I always go back to the fact that "God knows my heart." He knows that I love him, and that I'm doing the best that I can to seek him and do his will. And I think that's all that he asks of us. Well in the lightest sense. I know there are other things, but to love God, and love people is pretty much the root of it all.
I love the part where it says "this is the confidence that we have in approaching God." It implies that it's not a King/Servant relationship, but it's a Father/Daughter relationship. When I approach my dad and ask him for something, I'm not afraid, and I have confidence that if it's something good for me, and that he can reasonably provide it, that he will. My dad does not want to hold back good things from me, and he would do anything in his power to help me. He can't help himself but he spoils me a bit as well too. This is how I see God. If it's "according to his will, he hears us....and we know that we have what we asked of him." That's a great word, and a great feeling. God is good.
dun dun dun!
I wrote a very open and honest email to my bff last night and I went to bed thinking "I think it'll be ok." I woke up slightly in a panic thinking "WTF did I do?!?" But it quickly subsided because I knew in my heart that my bff would respond well to the letter. And that she'd accept me and all that jazz. And guess what. She did :) That, my friends, is true love and trust. Usually that feeling of panic sticks around a bit longer when I'm worried about something, but because I knew in my heart that she cared for me, it subsided pretty quickly. There truly is no fear in love. I'm pretty happy that I listened to God and trusted his instinct. Haha if it had been my instinct it would have been "run, hide, ah!"
So I couldn't wait to weight myself after last night. My starting weight was 246.6 (if you want to be exact hmph). My weight after one week....drumroll....239.4!!! That's 7.2 lbs!! I'm waaaaaaaaay stoked. I did a little dance in my bathroom. That's about 2.9% of my weight. Way to go me. Ok, I need to do my daily reading,exercise, and then check to see if we have paint for the painters. I'm nervous that we've run out. Ugh. Sometimes I am such a slacker manager!
So I couldn't wait to weight myself after last night. My starting weight was 246.6 (if you want to be exact hmph). My weight after one week....drumroll....239.4!!! That's 7.2 lbs!! I'm waaaaaaaaay stoked. I did a little dance in my bathroom. That's about 2.9% of my weight. Way to go me. Ok, I need to do my daily reading,exercise, and then check to see if we have paint for the painters. I'm nervous that we've run out. Ugh. Sometimes I am such a slacker manager!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
What not to do.
Don't weigh yourself at the end of the night....that is unless that's time you normally weigh yourself. It may get you down a bit. We'll see tomorrow morning what the whole weight loss thing officially looks like. I'm nervous. But. If I didn't lose, I just need to figure out what I need to adjust to make a difference. I'm basing it off my original numbers, so there shouldn't be any gain...God forbid. If that happens I might get a bit angry haha.
I didn't get anything (besides working out) done tonight. I spent time with Rab instead. I don't regret it. Some things are more important than boring tasks. Anyway, time to go to bed. See you in the morning!
I didn't get anything (besides working out) done tonight. I spent time with Rab instead. I don't regret it. Some things are more important than boring tasks. Anyway, time to go to bed. See you in the morning!
goals for today
I need to get several things done today. I need to wash my hair, file...everything that needs to get filed, wash and put away my dishes, hang up my clothes, and get everything that needs to get mailed out ready and stamped/addressed. I also need to exercise. How am I going to do this?
Exercise first. That way I won't have to shower again after. Shower and wash my hair. Let me hair air dry while I put away/clean my dishes, file, and pick up my apartment. I want to get this all done before 11 because that's bedtime :) Five hours...I think I can do it :)
Exercise first. That way I won't have to shower again after. Shower and wash my hair. Let me hair air dry while I put away/clean my dishes, file, and pick up my apartment. I want to get this all done before 11 because that's bedtime :) Five hours...I think I can do it :)
Boundaries not diets
"The problem isn't usually with diets themselves, but with the rigid, perfectionist ways we use them."
Today the book talked about how we should look at dieting and a healthy lifestyle not as a rigid, unbendable system, but as a flexible system with boundaries. I like the analogy that she used with the road. There are definite boundaries on a road or path, and you can set them wider or narrower depending on your situation. "But even on a really bad day, you never eliminate the road or get off of it completely." And this is a problem that I've had in the past. If I make ONE mistake, then I abandon the whole thing for the day. And then when I want to start the next day, I say "oh, I didn't do it yesterday..." and so on. When you're traveling on a road, sometimes you veer a little. Usually you hid the bumps in the middle or the road, or something gives you a warning that you are veering. The point is not to freak out and stop OR just continue on your collision course. It's to get back on the road.
Narrow Road:
Exercise every day for 30 minutes. Build up to 60 minutes a day.
Only eat on serving of sugary sweet cookies.
Eat at home 6/7 days of the week for dinner. And pack my lunch 4/5 days.
Drink 120 oz of water every day.
Wider Road:
Exercise every day for 30 minutes.
Eat as many servings as you like of sugary food, as long as it's within your plan of carbs and fat and calories.
Eat at home 4/7 days of the week, but be vigilant about eating healthy choices. Pack my lunch 3/5 days, but be vigilant about eating healthy choices.
Drink 81 oz of water every day.
"You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us." 1 John 4:4-6a
I love how it says that we are from God and have overcome them (meaning the world). It makes me feel victorious, and powerful, and that nothing could hold me back. It intrigued me when it says whoever knows God listens to us. It doesn't make the distinction that everyone in the world does not listen to us. It says they definitely listen to everything that the world says. But I think it's implying that there are some from the world who know God, and if we speak, they will listen. And they are taking things in, even if we don't know it. I really like that because it takes the pressure off of us to be anything other than who we are in God, and it puts the spotlight on that other person and their response to God.
The next part is all about love and how God is love. I would quote this whole section, but it's long, so I'm going to just quote key phrases that stick out to me:
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."vs. 10-12
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." vs.18
"Whoever loves God must also love his brother." vs.21
I love the distinction that WE did not love God first. Richard talked about in his sermon last week that it's not any work that we did. He said that we don't serve God for acceptance, we serve God because he accepted us. It's this whole idea that God pursued and loved us first, which is why we don't have to be afraid. His love was great for us even when we did not know him. He's seen all the junk and despair, and he loved us anyway. That is powerful and convicting. Because it says "since God so loved us, we ought to love one another." That same love that God has for us is the kind of love we are supposed to have for each other. We are supposed to love each other despite the junk and despair. Despite the wrong decisions and the hurtful things that are said. If we love people first, and in the way that God does, they will know him. Because he is love. That is powerful. They will know us by our LOVE. And they love is God. It shows that he is in us. That his love is made complete in us.
I simultaneously love and am convicted by that statement. If I love God, I have to love people. And how do I love people, I get closer to God. I try to get to know him. I let him rub off on me. Because God knows that that love is not naturally in me. I had to include "there's no fear in love." Because, well, that is a statement of my life. I've lived in fear of so many things, and God is faithfully bringing me out and away from that fear and showing me what LOVE, who LOVE is. It's beautifully breathtaking and wonderful. Ah, his word is good :)
Today the book talked about how we should look at dieting and a healthy lifestyle not as a rigid, unbendable system, but as a flexible system with boundaries. I like the analogy that she used with the road. There are definite boundaries on a road or path, and you can set them wider or narrower depending on your situation. "But even on a really bad day, you never eliminate the road or get off of it completely." And this is a problem that I've had in the past. If I make ONE mistake, then I abandon the whole thing for the day. And then when I want to start the next day, I say "oh, I didn't do it yesterday..." and so on. When you're traveling on a road, sometimes you veer a little. Usually you hid the bumps in the middle or the road, or something gives you a warning that you are veering. The point is not to freak out and stop OR just continue on your collision course. It's to get back on the road.
Narrow Road:
Exercise every day for 30 minutes. Build up to 60 minutes a day.
Only eat on serving of sugary sweet cookies.
Eat at home 6/7 days of the week for dinner. And pack my lunch 4/5 days.
Drink 120 oz of water every day.
Wider Road:
Exercise every day for 30 minutes.
Eat as many servings as you like of sugary food, as long as it's within your plan of carbs and fat and calories.
Eat at home 4/7 days of the week, but be vigilant about eating healthy choices. Pack my lunch 3/5 days, but be vigilant about eating healthy choices.
Drink 81 oz of water every day.
"You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us." 1 John 4:4-6a
I love how it says that we are from God and have overcome them (meaning the world). It makes me feel victorious, and powerful, and that nothing could hold me back. It intrigued me when it says whoever knows God listens to us. It doesn't make the distinction that everyone in the world does not listen to us. It says they definitely listen to everything that the world says. But I think it's implying that there are some from the world who know God, and if we speak, they will listen. And they are taking things in, even if we don't know it. I really like that because it takes the pressure off of us to be anything other than who we are in God, and it puts the spotlight on that other person and their response to God.
The next part is all about love and how God is love. I would quote this whole section, but it's long, so I'm going to just quote key phrases that stick out to me:
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."vs. 10-12
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." vs.18
"Whoever loves God must also love his brother." vs.21
I love the distinction that WE did not love God first. Richard talked about in his sermon last week that it's not any work that we did. He said that we don't serve God for acceptance, we serve God because he accepted us. It's this whole idea that God pursued and loved us first, which is why we don't have to be afraid. His love was great for us even when we did not know him. He's seen all the junk and despair, and he loved us anyway. That is powerful and convicting. Because it says "since God so loved us, we ought to love one another." That same love that God has for us is the kind of love we are supposed to have for each other. We are supposed to love each other despite the junk and despair. Despite the wrong decisions and the hurtful things that are said. If we love people first, and in the way that God does, they will know him. Because he is love. That is powerful. They will know us by our LOVE. And they love is God. It shows that he is in us. That his love is made complete in us.
I simultaneously love and am convicted by that statement. If I love God, I have to love people. And how do I love people, I get closer to God. I try to get to know him. I let him rub off on me. Because God knows that that love is not naturally in me. I had to include "there's no fear in love." Because, well, that is a statement of my life. I've lived in fear of so many things, and God is faithfully bringing me out and away from that fear and showing me what LOVE, who LOVE is. It's beautifully breathtaking and wonderful. Ah, his word is good :)
green eyed monster
I find myself reading things on facebook and getting jealous. Mostly it's because I see my friends are out and about, doing things and having fun without me. I read an article about how facebook causes people to be depressed, because they see everyone else having fun and they wonder "why didn't I get invited?" I'm trying to figure out where my jealousy stems from, because I think it's an ugly and hurtful attitude that can lead to ugly and hurtful things.
I think I'm self centered. I like to think in my head that the best time can only be had with me. So when I see people having fun with others, I get jealous. How dare they have fun without me! I've been perfectly content to stay home this weekend and chill, but when I see others going out and having fun, I get jealous. It's because I wasn't invited out. And I know in my head that a)I have no money, and b)I probably wouldn't enjoy the activity that they are doing, but I still get hurt/jealous that I wasn't even asked. But I know I wasn't asked because I don't like the activity. But sometimes I think I deliberately am not asked because someone is mad at me, or someone doesn't want me there. I think the worst about people. But you know, I understand that sometimes people want friends of their own. They don't want friends that they share with everyone. And that's what I think is going on.
I think I'm also competitive. I want to be the best at everything, and when I see people having fun and going out, I want to have a night even BETTER than that night. I want to show them that I'm having a better time than they'll ever have and I desire them to be jealous of me.
That,my friends, is a terrible attitude to have. I shouldn't be jealous of someone who has an opportunity to have happiness in their life. I shouldn't be jealous of someone who has the opportunity to have more than I do. I shouldn't begrudge someone the goodness that God has given them. I shouldn't be so competitive that I can't be happy for someone else when they win. I shouldn't be so competitive that I can't let someone win a silly argument. I shouldn't be so focused on being right, and how my being right makes me better than other people. Or if I'm wrong, etc., how that makes me worse than other people.
God has given us the things that we have in our lives for a reason. And we are in the situations that we are in our lives for many different reasons. I need to stop looking at other people's lives and coveting what they have, and assuming things from what they show me. I need to be happy with what others have, and with what I have. I need to be compassionate, open, honest, and wise. God I need you to tone down this competitive spirit that is in me. I like that competition drives me to do better and be better, but I don't like that it drives me to jealousy. I don't want to be competitive in every aspect of my life. I don't want to be so competitive that I drive people away, or that I hurt others. Please help me to use my competitiveness in constructive and applicable ways. Help me to have humility and a gentle spirit.
I think I'm self centered. I like to think in my head that the best time can only be had with me. So when I see people having fun with others, I get jealous. How dare they have fun without me! I've been perfectly content to stay home this weekend and chill, but when I see others going out and having fun, I get jealous. It's because I wasn't invited out. And I know in my head that a)I have no money, and b)I probably wouldn't enjoy the activity that they are doing, but I still get hurt/jealous that I wasn't even asked. But I know I wasn't asked because I don't like the activity. But sometimes I think I deliberately am not asked because someone is mad at me, or someone doesn't want me there. I think the worst about people. But you know, I understand that sometimes people want friends of their own. They don't want friends that they share with everyone. And that's what I think is going on.
I think I'm also competitive. I want to be the best at everything, and when I see people having fun and going out, I want to have a night even BETTER than that night. I want to show them that I'm having a better time than they'll ever have and I desire them to be jealous of me.
That,my friends, is a terrible attitude to have. I shouldn't be jealous of someone who has an opportunity to have happiness in their life. I shouldn't be jealous of someone who has the opportunity to have more than I do. I shouldn't begrudge someone the goodness that God has given them. I shouldn't be so competitive that I can't be happy for someone else when they win. I shouldn't be so competitive that I can't let someone win a silly argument. I shouldn't be so focused on being right, and how my being right makes me better than other people. Or if I'm wrong, etc., how that makes me worse than other people.
God has given us the things that we have in our lives for a reason. And we are in the situations that we are in our lives for many different reasons. I need to stop looking at other people's lives and coveting what they have, and assuming things from what they show me. I need to be happy with what others have, and with what I have. I need to be compassionate, open, honest, and wise. God I need you to tone down this competitive spirit that is in me. I like that competition drives me to do better and be better, but I don't like that it drives me to jealousy. I don't want to be competitive in every aspect of my life. I don't want to be so competitive that I drive people away, or that I hurt others. Please help me to use my competitiveness in constructive and applicable ways. Help me to have humility and a gentle spirit.
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