So ever since it started getting darker earlier and my schedule changed back to 11-7, I told myself I was going to do a morning run instead of running in the evenings. Well, after the excitement of my first 5k was over, my desire to run dwindled a bit. Last week, I felt so lazy and blah and tired that I didn't do any real running at all (except for a little in the middle of the week). I found out that last week was my PMS week (go figure) as I'm now dealing with my wonderful TOM. It didn't dissuade me from getting my butt out of bed and going for a run today. I went to bed early, woke up around 5:15, read until 6:45, then got my shoes on and headed out of the house.
The run was amazing. The first mile plus I ran and had a good pace going, then stopped and walked. During my walk, on the beautiful morning with greenlake not so full and all new and fresh, I had this thought of "why don't you put on a little worship music?" I'm sure it was a gentle nudge from God, but it was clear, and I just knew I had to. So I did, and it was the best decision I've made.
As I was running I realized that everything that I've had, including this newly found love for running, has come because of help and grace from God. I remember crying and praying to God to help me, to change me, to give me courage and to show me how to live my life to the fullest. And here I am, happy, healthy, trying new things, and loving every second that is given me in the day. The first song that I listened to was "Came to my Rescue" and the chorus goes "I called, you answered...and you came to my rescue and I want to be where you are." And it's true. I called, I asked, and he came to my rescue. It came in the form of him giving me courage to try and me saying yes to him. It came in the form of him showing me sparkpeople...and me responding to the resource. It came in the form of being challenged to run (something I've been wanting to do for a long time) and me saying yes and training for c25k.
He has laid a path before me that is greater than anything I can have imagined, and all it takes is my response of "yes" to him and the things he wants for me. I want my running not to be worship of my abilities and growing strength. I want my running to be an act of worship to him and how good he is. Every breath that I take and every mile that I run will be for him, because of what he's done for me. He came to my rescue. God is good.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
lazy day
I have cheated on this blog for the convenience and support of my sparkpeople blog. :/ I will work on keeping this one up as well :)
I went for my yearly visit to my doctor yesterday and aside from being healthy, she said I had nearly perfect BP and was super happy about my weight loss. I did JM 30DS level two and let me tell you, it'll probably be a good long while before I graduate from the level. The plank position seems to be in more than half of the circuits and I was DYING the whole time :) It was a good workout though. I had a fantastic time Friday night, although Saturday I was rewarded with a lingering headache and an gurgly stomach every once in awhile.
For the past couple of weeks I've been eating recklessly--I did a lot of shopping and my eating habits suffered for it. But after going grocery shopping this past week I'm ready to be back in the saddle of eating nutritiously...not just being aware of calories. More fruits, veggies, lean proteins, and cooking at home are in my future--which I'm excited about. It's nice to have convenient dinners like smart ones around, but nothing beat a fresh homecooked meal.
Yesterday I spent much of the day lounging around my apartment after my dr's appointment. I think I'm going to do JM, clean up my apartment, write my brother, and then head off to get some running in. Next weekend I'll be running another 5k and I need to get back into shape for it :) I was rubbing the shin and for the first time I noticed that the bone sticks out now...no more fat cushioning it, it long and lean and sharp :) My legs are slimming up and having nice contours and muscles as well. Despite my grumbling about JM, I never would have been able to do that workout earlier this year, and I'm happy about the progress I've made in becoming healthier, happier, and stronger. What a good year...I'm excited for everything else that is to come.
I turn 25 right at the end of 2010, and I'm really excited that I'm preparing to live the next quarter century of my life with vigor and vitality. I truly want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd...and I'm gaining it, day by day. God is good :)
I went for my yearly visit to my doctor yesterday and aside from being healthy, she said I had nearly perfect BP and was super happy about my weight loss. I did JM 30DS level two and let me tell you, it'll probably be a good long while before I graduate from the level. The plank position seems to be in more than half of the circuits and I was DYING the whole time :) It was a good workout though. I had a fantastic time Friday night, although Saturday I was rewarded with a lingering headache and an gurgly stomach every once in awhile.
For the past couple of weeks I've been eating recklessly--I did a lot of shopping and my eating habits suffered for it. But after going grocery shopping this past week I'm ready to be back in the saddle of eating nutritiously...not just being aware of calories. More fruits, veggies, lean proteins, and cooking at home are in my future--which I'm excited about. It's nice to have convenient dinners like smart ones around, but nothing beat a fresh homecooked meal.
Yesterday I spent much of the day lounging around my apartment after my dr's appointment. I think I'm going to do JM, clean up my apartment, write my brother, and then head off to get some running in. Next weekend I'll be running another 5k and I need to get back into shape for it :) I was rubbing the shin and for the first time I noticed that the bone sticks out now...no more fat cushioning it, it long and lean and sharp :) My legs are slimming up and having nice contours and muscles as well. Despite my grumbling about JM, I never would have been able to do that workout earlier this year, and I'm happy about the progress I've made in becoming healthier, happier, and stronger. What a good year...I'm excited for everything else that is to come.
I turn 25 right at the end of 2010, and I'm really excited that I'm preparing to live the next quarter century of my life with vigor and vitality. I truly want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd...and I'm gaining it, day by day. God is good :)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
life is good
I'm so excited to be done with our summer session. I went shopping yesterday and realized that I will finally get to wear all the cute clothing that I have accumulated over the past couple of months. I went shopping yesterday and spent a pretty penny. I might return some stuff, but it's so nice being able to shop in the regular ladies section and not the women's section. My size varies from XL to L to M, but I'm pretty much solidly in a large, and I feel amazing. I'm reaching goals left and right and making decisions for me...and it's nice...really nice.
I was talking with a friend the other day about how happy I am. My life is full, and it's full of things that I enjoy and that keeps me in contact with different kinds of people, doing different types of things. And it's also full of me. I'm able to do stuff for me, because I want to do it. It's not centered around pleasing other people, and worrying about what they want, it's about living my life and living it for moi. She said "Sometimes I envy you single people because you don't have to worry about someone else and their needs." And it's very true. I told her that there's a trade off with that...I'm single, and can live for me...she's coupled, and has to worry about her S.O...but I'm sure she wouldn't give up her S.O. to be single...if if she did...then maybe her S.O. isn't right for her.
I'm holding onto that idea more and more that one (single vs. coupled) is not better than the other. There are pros and cons to both, but it really is about enjoying whatever stage you're at. And I know that sounds all syrupy and...I don't know...like I'm just quoting a line, but honestly, truly, and completely, I'm loving being single. I'm loving living for me, and while there will always be room for someone else like a husband and family, right now, I'm enjoying just being a mommy to a very easy to care for kitty :)
Today, I'm going to do some cleaning, try on some clothes from my closet, go shopping, get a TWO HOUR massage, shop a little more, go to church, then come home to a clean, apartment that is all my own. I finished another book that I had been reading this morning, and woke up with the leisure of not having to hear or deal with anyone other than my little keekers meowing and wanting a little love. This, is the life. I'm content. And not only content, I'm making progress is all sorts of ways. Life is good...God is good.
I was talking with a friend the other day about how happy I am. My life is full, and it's full of things that I enjoy and that keeps me in contact with different kinds of people, doing different types of things. And it's also full of me. I'm able to do stuff for me, because I want to do it. It's not centered around pleasing other people, and worrying about what they want, it's about living my life and living it for moi. She said "Sometimes I envy you single people because you don't have to worry about someone else and their needs." And it's very true. I told her that there's a trade off with that...I'm single, and can live for me...she's coupled, and has to worry about her S.O...but I'm sure she wouldn't give up her S.O. to be single...if if she did...then maybe her S.O. isn't right for her.
I'm holding onto that idea more and more that one (single vs. coupled) is not better than the other. There are pros and cons to both, but it really is about enjoying whatever stage you're at. And I know that sounds all syrupy and...I don't know...like I'm just quoting a line, but honestly, truly, and completely, I'm loving being single. I'm loving living for me, and while there will always be room for someone else like a husband and family, right now, I'm enjoying just being a mommy to a very easy to care for kitty :)
Today, I'm going to do some cleaning, try on some clothes from my closet, go shopping, get a TWO HOUR massage, shop a little more, go to church, then come home to a clean, apartment that is all my own. I finished another book that I had been reading this morning, and woke up with the leisure of not having to hear or deal with anyone other than my little keekers meowing and wanting a little love. This, is the life. I'm content. And not only content, I'm making progress is all sorts of ways. Life is good...God is good.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
ah what a relaxing weekend
I had the most relaxing weekend in the longest time! I've been out and about for the last month or so going to my parents house, spending time with them, and helping them with the move. With working all well, and then spending my weekends there, I haven't really had time to decompress and rest...which I ended up doing this weekend and I have to say...it was glorious. Friday, I rented two movies, watched one, and then went to bed with a book. Saturday, I told myself I had stuff to do. One was to clean my entire apartment. The other was to watch the second movie, the last was to run. First, I decided to watch the movie, because who likes to start off a Saturday working? So I spent a lazy Saturday morning watching a movie and putzing around my apartment.
Around 1pm I decided it was time to start cleaning...starting in my bedroom (where piles of clean clothes were taking over), rolling into my living room (where piles of clothes and dishes and bags and EVERYTHING were lurking), over into my dining room/kitchen (which had the kitty litter box, and the sink full of 3 week old dishes...ew), over into the entry way/bathroom (which was piled with stuff brought home from my parents). I told myself I had until 7pm to do all that stuff because that is when I was going running. Welp, 7 hours later, I had everything done. EVERYTHING. I even rearranged my room :) There's still little stuff I have to go through, but my apartment is clean...gloriously, wonderfully, clean. And can I just say that 1) I love my apartment....it's so awesome in so many ways and 2) I love living alone! It's amazing and I don't think I will give it up willingly for anyone except if I get married...seriously.
At 7 I headed out the door to return my redbox rentals and run around the track. I've decided that I'm going to start doing 3 miles from now on with my running. I run 3 laps, walk 1 lap, and repeat 2 more times. That way I do a complete 5k. It was rough...I got tired and my legs got stiff and my breathing sometimes got jagged, but I did it. I knew I could because I did it two or three weeks ago when I was supposed to do 3run 2walk, 3run haha. And I clocked in at a 37.5 minute 5k...which averages to a 12.5 min mile...which, with walking added in is pretty good I must say :) Anyway, I'm hoping to be around a 35 minute mile by the time of the race. We'll see what happens I guess. After that, I cooked some incredibly yummy fajitas, Alisha came and bought my old TV, and then I sat down, enjoyed dinner, read my book, and then went to bed.
Today, I really wanted to go to Greenlake and walk with fellow Seattle sparkers...but I ended up waking up at 6 watching a show, eating breakfast, and then falling back asleep until 1ish. So, no walk, but I def wanna do that next time they get together. I met up with a friend for the last of the Tutta Bella special, then I caught the bus and went to church...which...felt great. I love my church, and I love that Richard challenges me to think about things that I don't normally dwell on and consider...Anyway, now I'm home, and although I thought maybe I would skip out on doing JM 30 day shred, I think I'm just gonna do it. Because I'm actually shockingly starting to enjoy it and...it's a good habit. Then I'm going to plan my meals for the rest of the week, make tuna, and then settle in my comfy bed with Eat, Pray, Love. This was exactly the weekend I needed. Thank you Jesus!
Around 1pm I decided it was time to start cleaning...starting in my bedroom (where piles of clean clothes were taking over), rolling into my living room (where piles of clothes and dishes and bags and EVERYTHING were lurking), over into my dining room/kitchen (which had the kitty litter box, and the sink full of 3 week old dishes...ew), over into the entry way/bathroom (which was piled with stuff brought home from my parents). I told myself I had until 7pm to do all that stuff because that is when I was going running. Welp, 7 hours later, I had everything done. EVERYTHING. I even rearranged my room :) There's still little stuff I have to go through, but my apartment is clean...gloriously, wonderfully, clean. And can I just say that 1) I love my apartment....it's so awesome in so many ways and 2) I love living alone! It's amazing and I don't think I will give it up willingly for anyone except if I get married...seriously.
At 7 I headed out the door to return my redbox rentals and run around the track. I've decided that I'm going to start doing 3 miles from now on with my running. I run 3 laps, walk 1 lap, and repeat 2 more times. That way I do a complete 5k. It was rough...I got tired and my legs got stiff and my breathing sometimes got jagged, but I did it. I knew I could because I did it two or three weeks ago when I was supposed to do 3run 2walk, 3run haha. And I clocked in at a 37.5 minute 5k...which averages to a 12.5 min mile...which, with walking added in is pretty good I must say :) Anyway, I'm hoping to be around a 35 minute mile by the time of the race. We'll see what happens I guess. After that, I cooked some incredibly yummy fajitas, Alisha came and bought my old TV, and then I sat down, enjoyed dinner, read my book, and then went to bed.
Today, I really wanted to go to Greenlake and walk with fellow Seattle sparkers...but I ended up waking up at 6 watching a show, eating breakfast, and then falling back asleep until 1ish. So, no walk, but I def wanna do that next time they get together. I met up with a friend for the last of the Tutta Bella special, then I caught the bus and went to church...which...felt great. I love my church, and I love that Richard challenges me to think about things that I don't normally dwell on and consider...Anyway, now I'm home, and although I thought maybe I would skip out on doing JM 30 day shred, I think I'm just gonna do it. Because I'm actually shockingly starting to enjoy it and...it's a good habit. Then I'm going to plan my meals for the rest of the week, make tuna, and then settle in my comfy bed with Eat, Pray, Love. This was exactly the weekend I needed. Thank you Jesus!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
eee!
I chose running over poker tonight. Did you hear what I said? I had a chance to play poker (which I love) and instead said my health and running was more important to me. I'm so proud of myself :)
whirlwind week
Oh my goodness so many things are happening this week. Firstly, I found out Tutta Bella was having a "thank you loyal customers" sale and was giving away one free pizza per table. So I went with Adam for lunch...and then again with Alisha & Jen for dinner. Sadly, our plans to run, go swimming, then eat dinner went down the hill to swimming and eating dinner, then just eating dinner and sharing a DELECTABLE tiramisu. Oh my lordy the cream in the tiramisu was to die for. So yummy. I'm glad we were sharing it among the three of us because I would have eaten that whole thing by myself and felt sick afterwards. The nice thing about Tutta Bella is their pizzas are neopolitan style and the crust is super thin and low gluten...I'm sure it's not GOOD for you, but it's lighter than a normal pizza and not loaded with cheese. I left feeling fed instead of fed and bloated. Plus their napoli salad is simply amazing. I think I love it even more than the pizza. Ok, off of food now :)
Today I'm supposed to do running/poker, tomorrow I'm supposed to do bonding time with Bigs, and Thursday I have bonding time with Bec. I'm already exhausted thinking about all the people time. I'm debating on whether or not I should ditch poker today and get the rest and rejuvenation I need. I normally get that on the weekend, but, oh yea, the parents are moving to Hawaii and I was working all week. So, basically I'm tired. My body is tired, I'm not getting enough sleep, and it makes me worried for keeping in shape, running, and just overall feeling good. So, poker might have to go...ugh I hate missing things I love but I'm at a point where I'd rather say no than feel like crap...and I'm not going to say no to the girls :)
Speaking of running, I've been on a bit of hiatus, and I'm pretty sure I'm ready to go again. I definitely was not going to run in the 90 degree heat, and I'm kinda nervous about the 80 degree heat today...but I should at least go and try. I've decided to try to run the 2 miles, and if I can't do it, just start with week 6, day two (1 mile, walk 1/4 of a mile, run 1 mile) and try to work up from there. I realize that my body is doing some amazing things, but some things it's not ready for and I just gotta accept that and continue to push it but not force it...or I'll hurt myself. And I can't be so hard on myself and rigid that I feel like a failure instead of the success that I am and WILL be. I'm so stoked for this 5k and maybe I'll do the other one in October. Goals goals goals!
I can't wait to rest and relax this weekend and recharge my batteries. Summer is almost over (yay!) and I'm looking forward to my favorite season with cool air, layering(cardigans yay!), and pretty colors. Okie doke, gotta go wash my hair.
p.s. Shakira (my parent's cat that I'm keeping for the next 3 years) keeps waking me up in the early morning. I'm tempted to lock her out of my room, but the meowing might wake me up anyway. Also, I was able to wrap a normal towel (not one of those larger towels or bathsheets) around my body without any gaps..and I can see my clavicles. I love all these little signs that my life is changing significantly :)
Today I'm supposed to do running/poker, tomorrow I'm supposed to do bonding time with Bigs, and Thursday I have bonding time with Bec. I'm already exhausted thinking about all the people time. I'm debating on whether or not I should ditch poker today and get the rest and rejuvenation I need. I normally get that on the weekend, but, oh yea, the parents are moving to Hawaii and I was working all week. So, basically I'm tired. My body is tired, I'm not getting enough sleep, and it makes me worried for keeping in shape, running, and just overall feeling good. So, poker might have to go...ugh I hate missing things I love but I'm at a point where I'd rather say no than feel like crap...and I'm not going to say no to the girls :)
Speaking of running, I've been on a bit of hiatus, and I'm pretty sure I'm ready to go again. I definitely was not going to run in the 90 degree heat, and I'm kinda nervous about the 80 degree heat today...but I should at least go and try. I've decided to try to run the 2 miles, and if I can't do it, just start with week 6, day two (1 mile, walk 1/4 of a mile, run 1 mile) and try to work up from there. I realize that my body is doing some amazing things, but some things it's not ready for and I just gotta accept that and continue to push it but not force it...or I'll hurt myself. And I can't be so hard on myself and rigid that I feel like a failure instead of the success that I am and WILL be. I'm so stoked for this 5k and maybe I'll do the other one in October. Goals goals goals!
I can't wait to rest and relax this weekend and recharge my batteries. Summer is almost over (yay!) and I'm looking forward to my favorite season with cool air, layering(cardigans yay!), and pretty colors. Okie doke, gotta go wash my hair.
p.s. Shakira (my parent's cat that I'm keeping for the next 3 years) keeps waking me up in the early morning. I'm tempted to lock her out of my room, but the meowing might wake me up anyway. Also, I was able to wrap a normal towel (not one of those larger towels or bathsheets) around my body without any gaps..and I can see my clavicles. I love all these little signs that my life is changing significantly :)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Where I am vs. where I was
I've been feeling very introspective lately, and when I say lately I mean this weekend, and when I say this weekend I mean pretty much today. It's been interesting helping my parents pack up and move, and when I say interesting, I mean exhausting, hilarious, fun, and bittersweet. I can't believe they're leaving me for the beautiful beaches of Hawaii, but I'm also excited to be joining them every so often there as well.
When I look at my mindset, and where I was last year vs. this year, I'm amazed. I'm amazed at the growth, the determination, the attitude change, the new healthy lifestyle...I'm amazed at all of it. Literally a year ago I was writing about what I wanted for my job at the club and how I wanted to change lives and how I was excited about where this year was going to take me (after thinking that maybe I was going to pick up and move), and here I am with a new job, in a better position to impact and love and change lives. God is so good.
I'm amazed at not only what I've learned, but also how I've taken what I've learned and DONE something with it. I've learned that I'm stronger that I thought I was. I've learned that I'm not a quitter. I've learned that fear is not something that has to live in me, and in fact that I hold it's eviction notice in my hand . I've learned that I'm a runner. I've learned that I have more support than I ever could have imagined. I've learned that I love my family more than words can say and that I have, quite possibly, the best family in the world. No joke. I've relearned my love of reading. I've learned that I'm a pretty damn good poker player. I've learned that I like to take risks. I've learned that my primary love language is TIME and that spending time with the people I love is more important to me than hugs, kind words, cleaning my dishes, or gifts. Oh man I've learned so much--I could fill a page...but the most important things I've learned, are that I love myself, I love the life I have been given, and I want to LIVE my life in the way it was meant to be lived.
So far, this "year of me" has taught me how I've undervalued, and underestimated myself, and I will never do that again. I will never fail to try because I think I can't do it ever again. I will never let other people make decisions about who I should be or what I want. Eesh I'm so proud and at peace but I'm also nervous and anticipatory. I have accomplished so much, and I KNOW I can do more. I can't stop now, and I will "have life in every word to the extent that it's absurd."
So here's to life, and where it takes us. I wrote this almost a year ago, and I think it's appropriate to quote now:
Life as of now is never how (I) would have expected it. But it's good, and it's exceeded my expectations in so many ways. Thank you Jesus, for all that you've done.
When I look at my mindset, and where I was last year vs. this year, I'm amazed. I'm amazed at the growth, the determination, the attitude change, the new healthy lifestyle...I'm amazed at all of it. Literally a year ago I was writing about what I wanted for my job at the club and how I wanted to change lives and how I was excited about where this year was going to take me (after thinking that maybe I was going to pick up and move), and here I am with a new job, in a better position to impact and love and change lives. God is so good.
I'm amazed at not only what I've learned, but also how I've taken what I've learned and DONE something with it. I've learned that I'm stronger that I thought I was. I've learned that I'm not a quitter. I've learned that fear is not something that has to live in me, and in fact that I hold it's eviction notice in my hand . I've learned that I'm a runner. I've learned that I have more support than I ever could have imagined. I've learned that I love my family more than words can say and that I have, quite possibly, the best family in the world. No joke. I've relearned my love of reading. I've learned that I'm a pretty damn good poker player. I've learned that I like to take risks. I've learned that my primary love language is TIME and that spending time with the people I love is more important to me than hugs, kind words, cleaning my dishes, or gifts. Oh man I've learned so much--I could fill a page...but the most important things I've learned, are that I love myself, I love the life I have been given, and I want to LIVE my life in the way it was meant to be lived.
So far, this "year of me" has taught me how I've undervalued, and underestimated myself, and I will never do that again. I will never fail to try because I think I can't do it ever again. I will never let other people make decisions about who I should be or what I want. Eesh I'm so proud and at peace but I'm also nervous and anticipatory. I have accomplished so much, and I KNOW I can do more. I can't stop now, and I will "have life in every word to the extent that it's absurd."
So here's to life, and where it takes us. I wrote this almost a year ago, and I think it's appropriate to quote now:
Life as of now is never how (I) would have expected it. But it's good, and it's exceeded my expectations in so many ways. Thank you Jesus, for all that you've done.
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