10 minute solution

So now that I've committed to "just doing something" (working out with Jillian everyday), the book asks the question "how will you keep going?" What if you don't feel like doing it? What if you have meetings all week? What if you have to work at 7am in the morning? Blech. It comes up with what it calls the "10 minute solution." You commit to at least working out for 10 minutes no matter what--whether it's a walk, etc. When you do this, you can 1)either be excited that you got that damn 10 minutes in and be done with it, or 2)be motivated to keep on going for longer.

It's not 20 or 30 minutes of exercise, but it's something. I feel like this is a good chapter for me because it reminds me of how I got started in the first place. Reading this book and being committed to exercising in the morning with the DDR. I'm excited that despite the fact that I hate getting up early, I'm still up at 5 freaking am to get my 20 minutes of Jillian in. It's important to me to stay committed to something, and I know this is the start of getting back on track. Now I just need to get my food habits back on track. I literally need to start tracking again. Sigh.

Okie dokie, time to work out. I'm postponing reading Hebrews because it's at the good part and I want to have adequate time to flesh it out. :)

Just do something

The book talked today about being in a rut. Saying you're going to do something for days, weeks, and then time goes by and you still haven't done anything. Instead of wallowing in your unmotivation, the author says to just do something. And do it for three days. That's supposed to get you going, and get some momentum going. And more importantly, make you feel in control again.

I've definitely felt like I've been in a rut after being sick. I gained some weight back, which was expected, but I didn't expect it to be so hard to get back into the habit of eating healthy. Once my habits were disturbed, I've definitely been having a hell of a time getting back on the horse. It doesn't help that this week I work early. But, I'm going to do it. Yesterday I got up early and worked out. I'm doing the same thing today. And I will do the same tomorrow. I need to get out of this rut and gain back control over my life. The year of me is only a quarter of the way done. :)

You gotta want to...

Today the book talked about saying "Of course I want to" vs. "I can't." It explains that most of the time the reason isn't "I can't" it's "I don't want.." So, not "I can't lose weight" but "I don't want to miss out on all the fun" or "I don't want to stop overeating at BBQs." The books says to make tiny goals and try to stick with them.

I think one for me was "I can't work out before 7am." But in reality, it was "I don't want to go to bed early enough so I have to wake up at that time." And then it was "I don't want to get out of bed!!!" That one is very popular early in the morning. I've realized that I have to want this. I have to be serious about it because if I'm not it's not going to happen. The weight didn't magically melt off before, and it's not going to now. I have to work at it, and I have to want it.

I'm very excited because my apartment is super clean and looks great. I took a nap yesterday afternoon and then got up off my ass around 10 or 11pm and just started cleaning. I was so tired of saying it should get done and I just decided to do it. And it was less work than I thought it was going to be...it was just a matter of doing it. That small amount of time I took has made me happy and I feel more peaceful and satisfied with my home. I love my apartment and I love having it to myself :)

I didn't work out yesterday (I lazily perused the internet ate, and took a nap...old habits!!). But I did resolve to wake up early and do Jillian this morning. And I did! I'm very proud of myself. And I didn't feel as dead and exhausted as I usually do. I actually got up and did the after stretches instead of laying on the floor gasping for breath haha. This evening I'm going to do my DDR, and then I'm going to wash my hair and straighten it. Perhaps lounge with a book in the tub beforehand? I need to find another book to read :D

Maintaining

Weight was the same this week. Which, I'm slightly disappointed with, but not surprised because any and all effort as far as exercise (which only happened 4/7 days) was superceded by my enormous efforts to eat any and everything in front of me. This weekend was especially bad--I found myself eating out of boredom many times and...didn't care :/ Many excuses including "I'm on my period!" "I've already messed up, might as well just finish it off big..." etc went through my head. Which is sad considering how far I've come and the lessons I've learned concerning these things.

I never thought of plateauing as far as motivating. Whenever I heard of people plateauing I thought that they were trying their hardest and still not getting the weight off...which happens alot. But I'm finding that I'm not trying very hard and my motivation to eat healthy is definitely plateauing. The good thing is that I'm mostly keepng up with the exercise habit although this week I am working early mornings so I have to make sure I actually DO it instead of coming home and napping :)

Anyway, this blog is for the purpose of reporting the good, bad, and ugly. Here is the unmotivated needing to get back on the wagon side. I will be reporting back with a "100 days blog" after I work out today when I get home. (I love that blogger is unlocked at work now!)

breaking new ground

Really quick cause I gotta work out. New girl Maggie in group is great. She has an amazing house. At the end of group yesterday the four of us "younger" people ended up drinking wine (myself most of it haha) watching Ben's freaky card tricks, talking about the most random things...including match.com...and watching a movie. I didn't get home until 1230 and we were all like "yay this was a good time." We're all in general consensus that we want to do that more. I'm hoping it'll happen :)

Kick the Can't

Today that book basically talked about reworking your vocabulary. The words you speak to yourself can have a powerful impact on what you do and don't do. When you say "I can't" you usually follow through and...don't. So instead of saying "I can't," the book suggest you say "hard but not impossible" and "i'll find a way" "maybe I could." For example: instead of saying "I can't stop eating tons of candy" I could say "It's hard but not impossible to avoid eating a ton of candy; I'll find a way. Maybe I could eat a small portioned amount and substitute fresh fruit instead for my cravings."

If Not Food Then What?

Ok, I just gotta be honest and say I'm having a hard time getting motivated to make my own dinners thus eat healthy. I'm not eating super craptastically, but I'm eating crappy enough that I feel bad about it. Monday I ate out, yesterday, I ate most of the leftovers from Monday, had 2 scoops of gelato, AND ate a big ol' bowl of honeycomb rather compulsively after dinner last night. The interesting thing is is that I thought quickly about those things before I did them, but in all of the circumstances, I really really wanted to do it and no thinking on my part would have convinced me. It's funny how the brain works. Or at least mine.

Anyway, I'm still working out everyday (yes), but I do want to get the eating thing back under...reasonable control. And yes, I'm not eating awfully, but I just want to eat better. For my sanity. To know that I'm doing my part in this whole thing. I don't want to gain all the weight back, and I don't just wanna stay at this size. I wanna keep going. I was telling Abbi last night that it's really hard for me to think of what I'll be like...thinner. Because I've never been thin. Ever. I always felt chunky as a child (although I wasn't), and when I went through puberty I just got bigger and bigger. So, I've never had a "thin" moment. I guess it's really hard for me to work towards something when I don't know what the ultimate outcome will be. Sigh. I need to keep going. I will keep going. One day at a time :)

Today the book talked about what to replace food with as important. It said to make a list of 10 things that are important to me, and put food on the top, then move it to the bottom and replace it with something else. I'm just gonna start fresh.

1. My family (Loving them and SHOWING my love and appreciation for them. Seeing them more often)
2. My friends (Investing time and energy into them...being more proactive. Making new friends)
3. My job (Getting back on the horse. Finding passion and purpose...)
4. My faith (Living true to it and growing daily in it)
5. My physical image (Shopping, clothes fitting right on me, having a soft but fit body)
6. Athleticism (Trying more sports/physical activities...tapdancing?)
7. Education (What to do next...ah!)
8. Learning new hobby (Currently cardmaking/scrapbooking)
9. Cooking (Learning and trying new recipes. Expanding my horizons or at least trying new things that fit into what I like now.)
10. Getting out of debt/saving money (Pretty self explanatory. Being a financially stable person)

So those are the things that are currently important to me. They're not really in any order. I think yesterday something clicked for me at work. I don't know I've been walking around in this hazy cloud of doubt and newness and...I don't even know how to describe it...maybe the fact that I had all these dreams and desires and then the disillusionment of seeing how I couldn't accomplish everything at once kinda got me down. Then being sick...I don't know. But yesterday, something just clicked and I got excited again. I realized that this is what I want and it's going to be a day at a time but I'm going to fucking tackle it and when I'm through, it's going to be great. But it's going to...take time. A lot of time. And time is what I have. And I'm going to use it effectively. And I'm not gonna sweat the small stuff. And I'm going to do all I can to make sure the kids feel loved and appreciated.

Anyway. I was thinking this exercise was kinda lame but maybe it was just what I needed :)

"Because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them" Heb. 7:24-25

I love that line, "because he always lives to intercede for them." He lives to save us to to plea on our behalf. He died and lived so that we could have a better life, and a better chance. Good stuff.

Alright. I'm going to let Jillian kick my butt once again. Sigh.