Thursday, July 1, 2010
small victory
I just pooped and magically 1 lb was gone from the scale. Ok, ok, I know it's kinda gross but you gotta celebrate small victories right? Right? Yes. :)
No Good or Bad
So I decided that I'm not going to worry about the scale's numbers. I was thinking about it, and I generally gain about 1-3lbs of water weight when I'm pmsing, and this week, I've stayed at 222 so, it must mean that I've lost a little since I haven't gained right? Right. hopefully :) Like I said before, I'm not going to let it discourage me. I am free to obsess a little about it though haha.
Today the book talked about not making food a moral issue and using works like good and bad. You shouldn't say, "I was bad today and ate five cupcakes." It used the example of carrots being a good food and brownies being a bad food. What makes them good and bad? Nothing really...it's just a choice you make. So the author says to once again, take control of your food choices and stop "moralizing" food by using vocabulary like cheating, good, or bad. It's hard, because I always...feel bad when I eat food that's not good for me. Yesterday I was craving salt like a mofo, and was munching on chips, while mentally calculating the calories I was consuming. I felt a little bad, but I think KNOWING that I was going to track the calories and being aware of what I was doing made me feel less guilty, and more of the mindset "Hey, I wanted the chips. Maybe not the best choice to have them sitting next to me and munching. But I did it." And I put the chips away from me in the pass through after that. When you boil it down to choices, there still are some "ugh" feelings there, but you definitely don't feel as hopeless and obsessive about it. Which, is nice I gotta say :)
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:5-7
This verse always sticks out to me, especially because I have issues with anxiety and worrying about EVERYTHING. Worry about my life, worrying about my future, worrying about my job, my family, my relationships. Goodness. The biggest thing I worry about is my future, and in that worry, I tend to plan a lot. I'll try to "make something of it" and map it out. This has happened most recently when I've decided to do a MPA/Peace Corps stint. And as I've gotten control of my life and started "living it to the fullest," I've realized that I just need to live my life, and be happy and content, and as I live, the opportunities and what makes sense for me to move on to next WILL come. I have to be open to it, and I have to be living, but that's it. If I present my worries about my future to God, he will not only give me peace about it, he'll guide my way and erase any anxiety on my part about how to get there. He'll help slowly, but surely, get me there. He's done it all of my life, and I'm sure he'll do it again.
Today the book talked about not making food a moral issue and using works like good and bad. You shouldn't say, "I was bad today and ate five cupcakes." It used the example of carrots being a good food and brownies being a bad food. What makes them good and bad? Nothing really...it's just a choice you make. So the author says to once again, take control of your food choices and stop "moralizing" food by using vocabulary like cheating, good, or bad. It's hard, because I always...feel bad when I eat food that's not good for me. Yesterday I was craving salt like a mofo, and was munching on chips, while mentally calculating the calories I was consuming. I felt a little bad, but I think KNOWING that I was going to track the calories and being aware of what I was doing made me feel less guilty, and more of the mindset "Hey, I wanted the chips. Maybe not the best choice to have them sitting next to me and munching. But I did it." And I put the chips away from me in the pass through after that. When you boil it down to choices, there still are some "ugh" feelings there, but you definitely don't feel as hopeless and obsessive about it. Which, is nice I gotta say :)
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:5-7
This verse always sticks out to me, especially because I have issues with anxiety and worrying about EVERYTHING. Worry about my life, worrying about my future, worrying about my job, my family, my relationships. Goodness. The biggest thing I worry about is my future, and in that worry, I tend to plan a lot. I'll try to "make something of it" and map it out. This has happened most recently when I've decided to do a MPA/Peace Corps stint. And as I've gotten control of my life and started "living it to the fullest," I've realized that I just need to live my life, and be happy and content, and as I live, the opportunities and what makes sense for me to move on to next WILL come. I have to be open to it, and I have to be living, but that's it. If I present my worries about my future to God, he will not only give me peace about it, he'll guide my way and erase any anxiety on my part about how to get there. He'll help slowly, but surely, get me there. He's done it all of my life, and I'm sure he'll do it again.
Blah
I've been weighing myself everyday and usually, I'll see the number move on the scale. It hasn't moved once for me this week! Argh. I'm wondering if I'm not getting the right type of nutrients, eating enough calories, or what. The biggest contributor, could be, the fact that I'm pmsing and retaining water. Which, is probably why it's been so hard to resist tasty treats like chips and cookies (resisted cookies successfully yesterday...chips...not so much). Whatever it is, I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep adjusting and doing WHATEVER I can to get the pounds off.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
No Cheating Allowed
Day three of my new start. Besides the scary dream, I'm feeling really good. Life is good, and now that I'm taking control of my life and trying to live it to it's fullest, it seems as if fullness is coming to it even more :) New friends, old friend, new goals, old goals, new life! It's good.
Today the book talked about the phrase "I cheated on my diet today." It said don't use the phrase, because it indicates that you are not in charge, but the food is. "The truth is, you can't cheat with food! It's impossible. The word cheat refers to something illegal or immoral, and food is neither of these. You do not have some kind of moral or character defect just because you ate a cookie." pg.150. I couldn't have said it better myself :) It's funny because they say to use the words that we tell the kids everyday--choice/choose. "I chose to eat that cookie." "I made some lousy choices today." It doesn't mean that you don't regret it, but it just reminds you that you have the power, and that you can chose to do different. We make choices every day, sometimes with limited options, but that's life, and we have to make do with the options we have, and own up to the choices we make. I like that idea. I have the power, food does not. I make the choice, the food does not choose me. I am in control, not the Oreos or Chips :) Good read today.
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...Only let us live up to what we have already attained..."Phil 3:8a,16
I did a real hatchet job on these verses/chapter but whatev. As I grow older, I realize more and more how good God is and how he has given me all the amazing things in my life. He has guided me on the path that I'm on now, and even when I don't acknowledge him, he's still good to me. I've been far from him. I'm compartmentalized my life and only let him have parts of me. I've been hot then cold, faithful, then wandering. But he has always been faithful, always been good. He's like the anchor to my restless soul. And I love him. Everything compared to him is nothing, and I really hope that I really, really, really get that as I get older.
I really like the second part...living up to what we've already attained. We already have his favor. We have salvation, and the wonderful promise of him by our side and life to the fullest...so let's live it. That's kinda along the same lines as what I've been saying to myself the past couple of days. I need to live it. I need to open myself up and breathe it and accept the life (the goodness of it all) that he has given. It's so good if I'll just...start living. God, is good :)
Today the book talked about the phrase "I cheated on my diet today." It said don't use the phrase, because it indicates that you are not in charge, but the food is. "The truth is, you can't cheat with food! It's impossible. The word cheat refers to something illegal or immoral, and food is neither of these. You do not have some kind of moral or character defect just because you ate a cookie." pg.150. I couldn't have said it better myself :) It's funny because they say to use the words that we tell the kids everyday--choice/choose. "I chose to eat that cookie." "I made some lousy choices today." It doesn't mean that you don't regret it, but it just reminds you that you have the power, and that you can chose to do different. We make choices every day, sometimes with limited options, but that's life, and we have to make do with the options we have, and own up to the choices we make. I like that idea. I have the power, food does not. I make the choice, the food does not choose me. I am in control, not the Oreos or Chips :) Good read today.
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...Only let us live up to what we have already attained..."Phil 3:8a,16
I did a real hatchet job on these verses/chapter but whatev. As I grow older, I realize more and more how good God is and how he has given me all the amazing things in my life. He has guided me on the path that I'm on now, and even when I don't acknowledge him, he's still good to me. I've been far from him. I'm compartmentalized my life and only let him have parts of me. I've been hot then cold, faithful, then wandering. But he has always been faithful, always been good. He's like the anchor to my restless soul. And I love him. Everything compared to him is nothing, and I really hope that I really, really, really get that as I get older.
I really like the second part...living up to what we've already attained. We already have his favor. We have salvation, and the wonderful promise of him by our side and life to the fullest...so let's live it. That's kinda along the same lines as what I've been saying to myself the past couple of days. I need to live it. I need to open myself up and breathe it and accept the life (the goodness of it all) that he has given. It's so good if I'll just...start living. God, is good :)
Crazy dream!
Ok, I was forced awake at 6am by a terrible dream! The beginning wasn't so bad, but in the end, I was in an elevator with several teens, and right when it started, the elevator made and noise and went all wonky. Then, it started to drop, the numbers started to flash, and it was dropping fast and steady towards an unknown fate. Then, it would slow, and we would sigh in relief, and then we'd start dropping again! Finally after a couple of times I was like "push the emergency button, pull the handle!" but all of these things only stopped the car temporarily, it would start again and stop after we pushed the button. Finally, somehow the boys got the doors open, and were running out (not sure how they ran UP the elevator shaft but whatever) and I screamed up to them "What if another one comes down?!?!" And then I was wrenched out of my dream, awake, and saying w.t.f. What a crazy dream. Not sure if it actually means anything, but as of now I'm staying away from elevators.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
5K Race anybody?!?
I'm pretty sure I'm going to sign up for the Aflac Iron Girl 5k Run/Walk. Super excited to have this goal. If anybody wants to join me, hit me up :)
http://www.irongirl.com/Events/Seattle.htm
http://www.irongirl.com/Events/Seattle.htm
Day one done!
Did my first day of training for the 5k. I did pretty good...although my face was still beet red by the time I got back to the Club. I'm super excited to continue this. I made sure I had all my workout clothes so I could just go after work, and I have the BEST program to help me keep track of the intervals for running and walking. It uses your own songs, and it dings when it's time to walk/run. It's...amazing. Love it. Anyway, I'm proud of myself and can't wait to keep on going :)
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