I'm realizing every day that talking with others about my weight loss goals is SO beneficial. There are so many people out there who have tried many things, and it's smart to listen to people who have "been there, done that." Like yesterday I talked with Bob, and was saying how I weigh myself everyday and then am discouraged. And he was like "It's sometimes good to weigh yourself every day (in the mornings) because then if you don't like the number you can either not eat the crappy stuff you ate the day before, or you can decide to work out more..." Basically knowledge is power and instead of being discouraged, I should take it as a challenge.
And then I talked to my wonderful mom today about the same thing, and she was like "well, you know, in my experience, I don't loose a lot of weight in the beginning. My body is muscular, so what happens is that my muscles start reacting and building up, and nothing shows on the scale. BUT I can feel my clothes getting looser. After a couple of weeks, then you notice a change in weight." And it was good because Bridgett told me (when I was talking to her) that I have a more muscular body which is why I don't look as big as I weigh. She told me her weight (which is the weight I now want to get to) and I was happy because she looks great. She's curvy, beautiful, and healthy. So, I guess I'm saying that I'm learning a lot about my body type, especially from my mom, and it's nice to know what to expect and look for. And to hear encouraging words and advice from other people :D
Life is good, God is good. Ok, time to DDR it up!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Don't Stop Now
So I was going to write that I'm feeling like I don't want to exercise, and after my yummy, but calorie filled dinner (ok,maybe not that bad, but bad enough), that I just wanted to take a break. However, I got to the next section of the book and you know what it says?
"You've come this far in your 100 days...don't stop now. If you're struggling to stick with it, push to finish one more day. You'll immediately be one day closer to achieving your weight loss goals."
And you know what? It's true. The fact that I even picked up the book to do my "devotional" time is proof enough that I want it, I just have to stick with it. I'm definitely past the euphoria stage of this new relationship with me and a healthy lifestyle. Now, I need to stick with it. It's rough now, but every day will lead to a better day, until one day, I realize that "today is the best day of my life." And I'll continue to have those days. Ok. I can do this. Now on to my daily motivator :)
Day 11: Two Purposes of Food
Today the book talked about how there are two reasons to eat: to fuel your body and appreciate flavors. If you're not eating for one of those two reasons, then you're emotionally eating. Basically, we need to fuel our body at regular intervals during the day. The book said every 3-4 hours which actually is how my body tends to get hungry. Now, it's working that into my work schedule as far as when I can eat while on the job. Right now, at the desk, I can pretty much munch when I need to. It'll definitely be different when working with kids. I'll have to plan more portable foods...which might be good because it'll up my intake of fruits and veggies and the like.
I'm going to play some games with friends today, and we usually drink and eat pizza and chips. I'm going to make an effort to first, eat beforehand, and then bring my own dinner and snacks. I really want to make an effort to make wise choices, and that means being smart and planning ahead. I'll bring some wine (perhaps I'll open it if I get the desire), but I'll bring my water bottle and crystal light and work on that. Not drinking will probably help me with the games too ;) Ok, I feel encouraged and excited to get exercising today and get with the program. I've done this for ten whole days! I'm doing well. And I will accomplish my goals.
"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." James 4:1-3
The chapter goes on to talk about how friendship with the world is hatred towards God, and that we need to submit ourselves to God. Come near to him, and he will come near to us. Wash, purify, grieve, mourn, humble ourselves, and he will life us up. The whole chapter seems to be addressing this idea that we are prideful. We envy and want, but we refuse to ask God. Why? Because we either don't think we need him or we're so wrapped up in ourselves that we don't think to ask. We think we have it all together. It talks about how we boast about what we're going to do and this and that...and then it points out that our lives are a mist...here today then gone tomorrow. I feel like we (and I'm including myself in all of this) have the assumption that our life is ours...and that we have all the time and control in the world to do with it what we want.
It is God who orders our footsteps and who made us. He won't control us. He won't force himself on us. But what he's saying is how much better our lives would be if we let him take the wheel. If we looked to him every once in awhile for our needs and wants. If we looked to him for direction. We're so damn prideful and are reaching for all these heights, without realizing that to get to the higher point in our lives we need to have humility and let him lift us. The ironic thing is, is that that way is, in the end, the "easier" way...because he does the work.
So, Tiffany, submit yourself to God. Instead of trying to plan your life and make it work, while looking around at everyone else wondering why you don't have what they have, why don't you let God show you what he's planned for you. Which, is honestly way better than the plans you have anyway. Probably has more than you imagined even. Psh. Just saying. :)
"You've come this far in your 100 days...don't stop now. If you're struggling to stick with it, push to finish one more day. You'll immediately be one day closer to achieving your weight loss goals."
And you know what? It's true. The fact that I even picked up the book to do my "devotional" time is proof enough that I want it, I just have to stick with it. I'm definitely past the euphoria stage of this new relationship with me and a healthy lifestyle. Now, I need to stick with it. It's rough now, but every day will lead to a better day, until one day, I realize that "today is the best day of my life." And I'll continue to have those days. Ok. I can do this. Now on to my daily motivator :)
Day 11: Two Purposes of Food
Today the book talked about how there are two reasons to eat: to fuel your body and appreciate flavors. If you're not eating for one of those two reasons, then you're emotionally eating. Basically, we need to fuel our body at regular intervals during the day. The book said every 3-4 hours which actually is how my body tends to get hungry. Now, it's working that into my work schedule as far as when I can eat while on the job. Right now, at the desk, I can pretty much munch when I need to. It'll definitely be different when working with kids. I'll have to plan more portable foods...which might be good because it'll up my intake of fruits and veggies and the like.
I'm going to play some games with friends today, and we usually drink and eat pizza and chips. I'm going to make an effort to first, eat beforehand, and then bring my own dinner and snacks. I really want to make an effort to make wise choices, and that means being smart and planning ahead. I'll bring some wine (perhaps I'll open it if I get the desire), but I'll bring my water bottle and crystal light and work on that. Not drinking will probably help me with the games too ;) Ok, I feel encouraged and excited to get exercising today and get with the program. I've done this for ten whole days! I'm doing well. And I will accomplish my goals.
"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." James 4:1-3
The chapter goes on to talk about how friendship with the world is hatred towards God, and that we need to submit ourselves to God. Come near to him, and he will come near to us. Wash, purify, grieve, mourn, humble ourselves, and he will life us up. The whole chapter seems to be addressing this idea that we are prideful. We envy and want, but we refuse to ask God. Why? Because we either don't think we need him or we're so wrapped up in ourselves that we don't think to ask. We think we have it all together. It talks about how we boast about what we're going to do and this and that...and then it points out that our lives are a mist...here today then gone tomorrow. I feel like we (and I'm including myself in all of this) have the assumption that our life is ours...and that we have all the time and control in the world to do with it what we want.
It is God who orders our footsteps and who made us. He won't control us. He won't force himself on us. But what he's saying is how much better our lives would be if we let him take the wheel. If we looked to him every once in awhile for our needs and wants. If we looked to him for direction. We're so damn prideful and are reaching for all these heights, without realizing that to get to the higher point in our lives we need to have humility and let him lift us. The ironic thing is, is that that way is, in the end, the "easier" way...because he does the work.
So, Tiffany, submit yourself to God. Instead of trying to plan your life and make it work, while looking around at everyone else wondering why you don't have what they have, why don't you let God show you what he's planned for you. Which, is honestly way better than the plans you have anyway. Probably has more than you imagined even. Psh. Just saying. :)
hmmm...
I definitely went OFF my plan today. I did not track my food, and I'm pretty sure I didn't drink enough water. I'm going to finish off the water I have then go to b.e.d. I'll weigh myself tomorrow and see the damage. :/ On the flip side, I had a great time with the polak. I found the most amazing chocolate mousse. I really want to eat some right now but I know I shouldn't snack...esp. after eating so much at dinner...anyway, tomorrow I will weigh myself, do my morning reading, work out, shower, wash/straighten my hair, and if it's not raining, walk to jason's house for some fun games. Wish me luck :)
Friday, January 15, 2010
taking an exercise break
I decided (as I bent over to turn on the PS2) and my back was hurting and my body generally sore, that I'm going to take a break today from my 30 minutes of DDR exercise. Thoughts in my mind? "What, this breaks the streak." "If you do this will you gain weight?" "What if you don't do it tomorrow too" "Is this a good idea?" "I'll have to eat less" "My tracker will be mad at me because I said I'd do it every day" But the one thought that came to my head that I'm going to hold onto is one that is kinda inspired by Meghan--I'm not going to legalistic and rigid with my life goals. It's ok to take a break every once in awhile. I've been exercising non stop. Maybe my body needs a break. Even if it doesn't, it's ok. I've been faithful in everything else. And there will be a day, in the future, that I'll have to take a break and "break the streak." It might as well be today when there isn't so much riding on it.
I'm actually thinking of revising my goals to 6 days a week, with Wednesdays (my volunteer day) off. That's probably a good idea. Anyway, I'm leaving on the side of the road self doubt, rigidity, and angst. I'll be ok :)
I'm actually thinking of revising my goals to 6 days a week, with Wednesdays (my volunteer day) off. That's probably a good idea. Anyway, I'm leaving on the side of the road self doubt, rigidity, and angst. I'll be ok :)
Appreciate Good Support
"Getting support from others involves give and take" The book talked about how we need to willing to talk with others about our goals, and to share stories of our progress that are not related to the scale. Discuss ways youre succeeding such as not going to mcdonalds, exercising regularly, etc. It also says to take compliments and don't downplay when people compliment you on your accomplishments.
I really like the fact that I have Meghan as my buddy in this whole thing. We talk everyday about weight loss, and what we're doing. Now that everyone is trying to live a healthier life, we're all bringing our food in and eating together. It not only is good for us healthwise, but it's great as far as team building. Meghan has some excellent insight (as she's been dieting for waaaaaaay longer that I have) and she's been really helpful, encouraging, and eye opening. It's been great having her and I really like having our team take time to eat together. It's kind of special :)
On a second note, I keep weighing myself compulsively every day, and getting discouraged because the number is going down at the rate I'd like it. I know you're supposed to weigh yourself at the same time once a week, but I want to see that I'm progressing every day....which I need to learn that I am. For almost two weeks I have gotten up every day and exercised, blogged, and eaten healthier. That's a HUGE shift in my life and is progress. I think starting out with a 7-8 lb loss might have ruined me for the 1-3 lb losses that I know are in my future. But I'm not going to let it. I'm going to be realistic about my weight loss and not let small bumps in the road completely derail me, cause me to stop, and make me want to drive into oncoming traffic :)
"Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, bird, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." James 3:5-8
Holy moly. I've read this verse before but for some reason I never realized how...descriptive this verse is concerning the tongue. I think this is another lesson that's God's been wanting to teach me. I've been having a lot of thoughts about "words of affirmation" and encouraging people and saying positive things. I was thinking that it is one of my love languages, but as I've thought of it more, I realized that touch and time are my dominant ones...so why are "words of affirmation" flying up and becoming so relevant now.
I think it's because of what I told SMART girls this past Tuesday...people very rarely sing the praises of others, complement, or say positive things about others. We point out faults. We make fun. Or we say nothing at all. But complements and words of encouragement are few and far between. I've been encouraging them to say one nice thing about someone every day (we did an exercise where the girls had a paper on their back and people had to write a compliment or what makes them a good friend. They LOVED it). I think God may be trying to develop and "tame" my tongue. I definitely can be one of those people who rarely compliments and is somewhat negative with me words. I think that he's working on that...especially reminding me that words bring life AND death. Very powerful. I think it's going to be very instrumental in my new job where I'm working in a 'supervisory' role with staff and dealing with children in program. Having a tame tongue. I like the ending to this chapter:
"For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." vs.16-18
I want and need that wisdom.
I really like the fact that I have Meghan as my buddy in this whole thing. We talk everyday about weight loss, and what we're doing. Now that everyone is trying to live a healthier life, we're all bringing our food in and eating together. It not only is good for us healthwise, but it's great as far as team building. Meghan has some excellent insight (as she's been dieting for waaaaaaay longer that I have) and she's been really helpful, encouraging, and eye opening. It's been great having her and I really like having our team take time to eat together. It's kind of special :)
On a second note, I keep weighing myself compulsively every day, and getting discouraged because the number is going down at the rate I'd like it. I know you're supposed to weigh yourself at the same time once a week, but I want to see that I'm progressing every day....which I need to learn that I am. For almost two weeks I have gotten up every day and exercised, blogged, and eaten healthier. That's a HUGE shift in my life and is progress. I think starting out with a 7-8 lb loss might have ruined me for the 1-3 lb losses that I know are in my future. But I'm not going to let it. I'm going to be realistic about my weight loss and not let small bumps in the road completely derail me, cause me to stop, and make me want to drive into oncoming traffic :)
"Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, bird, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." James 3:5-8
Holy moly. I've read this verse before but for some reason I never realized how...descriptive this verse is concerning the tongue. I think this is another lesson that's God's been wanting to teach me. I've been having a lot of thoughts about "words of affirmation" and encouraging people and saying positive things. I was thinking that it is one of my love languages, but as I've thought of it more, I realized that touch and time are my dominant ones...so why are "words of affirmation" flying up and becoming so relevant now.
I think it's because of what I told SMART girls this past Tuesday...people very rarely sing the praises of others, complement, or say positive things about others. We point out faults. We make fun. Or we say nothing at all. But complements and words of encouragement are few and far between. I've been encouraging them to say one nice thing about someone every day (we did an exercise where the girls had a paper on their back and people had to write a compliment or what makes them a good friend. They LOVED it). I think God may be trying to develop and "tame" my tongue. I definitely can be one of those people who rarely compliments and is somewhat negative with me words. I think that he's working on that...especially reminding me that words bring life AND death. Very powerful. I think it's going to be very instrumental in my new job where I'm working in a 'supervisory' role with staff and dealing with children in program. Having a tame tongue. I like the ending to this chapter:
"For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." vs.16-18
I want and need that wisdom.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
great day :)
This was my roughest day (as far as the way I was feeling when I started)and it has been such a great day. It's funny the habits and new mindsets I'm creating with this whole life change. I honestly don't know when was the last time that I read my Bible faithfully without being guilted into it by myself or someone else. And my exercise and eating routines are going great! I'm so excited to cook at home, and to learn new things. However, I didn't track very well today (after dinner that is) and I really hope I didn't go over my calories. I don't even know what I ate or how to measure, so I'm just not going to track it, but I'm crossing my fingers I'll still show a loss for this week next Monday. I'll try to make it up this weekend by exercising a bit more :)
Anyway, I'm just feeling really good about life. Game night was really fun. We played Settlers and I got to know my neighbor more which was cool. I enjoy spending time with Biggie and August outside of work as well. *Sigh* I have a blessed life. Tomorrow Birgie is coming over...we'll catch up and do dinner here. Yay! Alright, I'm really tired so I'm going to beddy-boo as my mum would say. <3
Anyway, I'm just feeling really good about life. Game night was really fun. We played Settlers and I got to know my neighbor more which was cool. I enjoy spending time with Biggie and August outside of work as well. *Sigh* I have a blessed life. Tomorrow Birgie is coming over...we'll catch up and do dinner here. Yay! Alright, I'm really tired so I'm going to beddy-boo as my mum would say. <3
God is good
This morning was really rough. I don't know if it was evident in my post or not, but I was feeling really shitty...physically, mentally, and emotionally. So, I prayed a little prayer of strength, and I am here at 10:15am writing because I actually got everything done and have SPARE TIME to write. God is good, faithful, and answers prayers...even the most pitiful and needy. My day is going to be wonderful. I'm really excited for game night. Hopefully I can fit everyone successfully in my apartment. I'm thinking I'm going to need to buy one of those fold out tables. :D Ok, I have to get dressed and make breakfast and lunch.
Here's what I want
Today that book had me do a quiz that checked off how you wanted people to respond to different things such as you not eating something apart of your diet, you losing weight, you struggling with weight, you maintaining, etc. It's hard to say, because in some situations I don't know what I would want people to say...I just don't want people to be negative, judgmental, or bossy. So yea....this chapter was a little bit of a repeat of yesterday. Not the best one :)
I'm kind of struggling today. I'm having people over tonight, and I've known all week that I need to pick up my apartment. However, being the procrastinator that I am, I haven't really done very much. Now I'm up super early, after going to bed a bit late, and I'm tired, my stomach hurts, and I'm grumpy. Plus I'm weighing myself every day and I'm not seeing tremendous loss, just maintenance...so I'm a bit discouraged. I know I shouldn't be, but to be honest I am. I want to just call into work, cancel game night, and sulk at home...but I know that's not the right answer. Avoidance and sulking is not right. So, I'm just going to try to push through it. Not necessarily try to be happy, but I'm going to try to stay positive...which means cleaning as best as possible, still working out, and concentrating on having a good eating day. Thank God tomorrow is Friday and the weekend is here so I can sleep a little more.
I've been reading in James, and I don't know what it is, but today, nothing and everything kind of stuck out to me. It's like I've read that book so many times that the words kind of sink in to their normal place...not really hitting or impacting me in new ways. Sigh. I think that's ok. I don't have to get an amazing word from God every day...it just kinda adds to the "blahness" of this day. I did have an amazing, spontaneous prayer time with God yesterday, so maybe I should pray that this day goes better than it's started so far. All right, time to get up and get to work.
I'm kind of struggling today. I'm having people over tonight, and I've known all week that I need to pick up my apartment. However, being the procrastinator that I am, I haven't really done very much. Now I'm up super early, after going to bed a bit late, and I'm tired, my stomach hurts, and I'm grumpy. Plus I'm weighing myself every day and I'm not seeing tremendous loss, just maintenance...so I'm a bit discouraged. I know I shouldn't be, but to be honest I am. I want to just call into work, cancel game night, and sulk at home...but I know that's not the right answer. Avoidance and sulking is not right. So, I'm just going to try to push through it. Not necessarily try to be happy, but I'm going to try to stay positive...which means cleaning as best as possible, still working out, and concentrating on having a good eating day. Thank God tomorrow is Friday and the weekend is here so I can sleep a little more.
I've been reading in James, and I don't know what it is, but today, nothing and everything kind of stuck out to me. It's like I've read that book so many times that the words kind of sink in to their normal place...not really hitting or impacting me in new ways. Sigh. I think that's ok. I don't have to get an amazing word from God every day...it just kinda adds to the "blahness" of this day. I did have an amazing, spontaneous prayer time with God yesterday, so maybe I should pray that this day goes better than it's started so far. All right, time to get up and get to work.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Help me please
Today the book talked about your support group (or lack thereof) and the kind of support you want them from and the kind of support you don't. For example, some people want someone to snatch a cookie out of their hand and say "that's not apart of your plan!" I, for the record, do not. If someone did that to me I would probably feel the desire to punch them in the face then snatch the cookie back and crumble it in their hair. Ha.
So the book says to define what you do and don't want said basically. Here are my thoughts:
I like when people acknowledge my work. I'm a words of affirmation girl. So when someone truly sees that I've been losing weight, looking better, eating healthier, I would love it if they commented on it. I understand that some people don't notice so of course with people I know well and love, I say "I've lost 8 lbs!!!" but if I lose 30 lbs and you're close to me and don't say anything, then I'll probably be little hurt...wondering if you even care. On that note, I don't expect people who are acquaintances to say anything cause, well, they probably feel awkward.
I guess in my way of thinking, if you can't say anything positive or encouraging, I'd rather not hear it. If you want to make fun of, disparage, or put down my decisions and something that I'm REALLY working hard at, please don't talk to me. If I'm about to eat something, don't make a snide remark about the food I'm eating or point out the calories. I know. I've tracked it and considered it. On the other hand, if you feel like I'm being unsafe in my endeavors, please talk with me in a loving way, because I'll most likely be defensive (I apologize in advance for that).
So those are basically my guidelines. I know what I'm supposed to do, if I ask for help, please help me. If I don't, please just support me in whatever positive way you can.
James will be my next book of choice since when I briefly looked at Hebrews it seemed too much to digest this morning.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kind, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3
Whenever I read this verse I get a bit twitchy. It always makes me wonder if some kind of huge trial is awaiting me, because I honestly have had a very blessed life. My life has of course, not been trial free, but when I consider things other people have had to go through, my trials seem small and unsubstantial. Is there a huge trial lurking around the corner of my life threatening to teach me perseverance? Or should I stop living in fear (or at least fearing trials in general), stop comparing my trials to others, and simply live the life that God has given me and learn from what he is teaching me IN MY LIFE?
I know the right answer. It's hard with my pessimistic nature to think that something bad is indeed going to happen to me because life has been so good lately. Jesus, cure me of that foreboding and angsty kind of thinking. The root of it is fear, and as I think about it more, it's fear that you don't love, care about, or have the best for me. Help me not to fear the future or the plans that you have for me, whether they be "easy" or "hard," but help me to know that they are mine, and you allow them to happen because you are by my side and can help me with all things.
This is what to think on during those times of forboding:
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." v. 17
Wow I didn't think that this was exactly what I was going to focus on today, but it seems like God is still working through fear and trust issues with me. Gotta love that even when we think we know, we sometimes have no idea. I'm excited for the day--it's small group day :)
So the book says to define what you do and don't want said basically. Here are my thoughts:
I like when people acknowledge my work. I'm a words of affirmation girl. So when someone truly sees that I've been losing weight, looking better, eating healthier, I would love it if they commented on it. I understand that some people don't notice so of course with people I know well and love, I say "I've lost 8 lbs!!!" but if I lose 30 lbs and you're close to me and don't say anything, then I'll probably be little hurt...wondering if you even care. On that note, I don't expect people who are acquaintances to say anything cause, well, they probably feel awkward.
I guess in my way of thinking, if you can't say anything positive or encouraging, I'd rather not hear it. If you want to make fun of, disparage, or put down my decisions and something that I'm REALLY working hard at, please don't talk to me. If I'm about to eat something, don't make a snide remark about the food I'm eating or point out the calories. I know. I've tracked it and considered it. On the other hand, if you feel like I'm being unsafe in my endeavors, please talk with me in a loving way, because I'll most likely be defensive (I apologize in advance for that).
So those are basically my guidelines. I know what I'm supposed to do, if I ask for help, please help me. If I don't, please just support me in whatever positive way you can.
James will be my next book of choice since when I briefly looked at Hebrews it seemed too much to digest this morning.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kind, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3
Whenever I read this verse I get a bit twitchy. It always makes me wonder if some kind of huge trial is awaiting me, because I honestly have had a very blessed life. My life has of course, not been trial free, but when I consider things other people have had to go through, my trials seem small and unsubstantial. Is there a huge trial lurking around the corner of my life threatening to teach me perseverance? Or should I stop living in fear (or at least fearing trials in general), stop comparing my trials to others, and simply live the life that God has given me and learn from what he is teaching me IN MY LIFE?
I know the right answer. It's hard with my pessimistic nature to think that something bad is indeed going to happen to me because life has been so good lately. Jesus, cure me of that foreboding and angsty kind of thinking. The root of it is fear, and as I think about it more, it's fear that you don't love, care about, or have the best for me. Help me not to fear the future or the plans that you have for me, whether they be "easy" or "hard," but help me to know that they are mine, and you allow them to happen because you are by my side and can help me with all things.
This is what to think on during those times of forboding:
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." v. 17
Wow I didn't think that this was exactly what I was going to focus on today, but it seems like God is still working through fear and trust issues with me. Gotta love that even when we think we know, we sometimes have no idea. I'm excited for the day--it's small group day :)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
thoughts
So, today (as we have been most of the week) we talked about our new "weight loss/life goals" challenge that we want to do at work. We then somehow got on the topic of weight, and how much people weighed. Meghan was POSITIVE that I weighed less than her, and I kept telling her that that was inaccurate. So finally I just told her--Meghan, my starting weight was 246. She absolutely did not believe me. I told her "why would I lie about something like that?" And she refused to believe me. I told Augustine and Adam eventually, and they both didn't believe me or were shocked when I told them. Oh yea, I told them I wanted to lose 110 lbs total and they looked at me like I was going to end up weighing 80-100 lbs.
One, it's good to know that I didn't look like I weighed that much. I know I'm well proportioned and carry my weight well--Augustine said it first but everyone else agreed...it's because I'm black haha. But also, it feels really good to speak those words and for there to be no secrecy or shame about it. Of course, I don't want it shouted to the rooftops, but it feels good that I can trust them with that number.
Also, Meghan said something interesting to me that I'm definitely going to consider. We were talking about how beautiful Jennifer Hudson is, and she was like "I don't think you need to lose 110 lbs. I think you would be absolutely happy at 160 lbs and that it would look really well on you." It was definitely an eye opening because I have this idea that 125-130 is how I'll look my best. But, does that mean I'll lose my curves? Does it mean I'll lose my lusciousness, my booty, my boobs? If so, she's right. I don't want to be 125 lbs. So I'm going to change my goal to 150lbs.
The awesome thing? When I type in 150 lbs as my goal weight, it says I can be that weight by November of this year if I lose 2 lbs a week. That's so incredibly exciting and encouraging. Now, I know that I'll probably not be able to do it that quickly, and there will be rough patches...but to even know it's possible gets me super jazzed and encourages me to keep at it. I haven't been thin...ever. I've always felt chubby (even when I wasn't). Ok so I was thin up until 6th grade...then puberty and the awkwardness hit and even though I wasn't that big, I still felt big. Now that I think about it, I've always been a little more curvaceous that my other friends, and I just always thought I was fat. But I realize that wasn't really so. Hindsight is 20/20. I'm excited for my goals :)
One, it's good to know that I didn't look like I weighed that much. I know I'm well proportioned and carry my weight well--Augustine said it first but everyone else agreed...it's because I'm black haha. But also, it feels really good to speak those words and for there to be no secrecy or shame about it. Of course, I don't want it shouted to the rooftops, but it feels good that I can trust them with that number.
Also, Meghan said something interesting to me that I'm definitely going to consider. We were talking about how beautiful Jennifer Hudson is, and she was like "I don't think you need to lose 110 lbs. I think you would be absolutely happy at 160 lbs and that it would look really well on you." It was definitely an eye opening because I have this idea that 125-130 is how I'll look my best. But, does that mean I'll lose my curves? Does it mean I'll lose my lusciousness, my booty, my boobs? If so, she's right. I don't want to be 125 lbs. So I'm going to change my goal to 150lbs.
The awesome thing? When I type in 150 lbs as my goal weight, it says I can be that weight by November of this year if I lose 2 lbs a week. That's so incredibly exciting and encouraging. Now, I know that I'll probably not be able to do it that quickly, and there will be rough patches...but to even know it's possible gets me super jazzed and encourages me to keep at it. I haven't been thin...ever. I've always felt chubby (even when I wasn't). Ok so I was thin up until 6th grade...then puberty and the awkwardness hit and even though I wasn't that big, I still felt big. Now that I think about it, I've always been a little more curvaceous that my other friends, and I just always thought I was fat. But I realize that wasn't really so. Hindsight is 20/20. I'm excited for my goals :)
also...
My biggest fear about this promotion is that it won't happen. Meghan told Adam that he could begin telling people, but that if he tells people and it doesn't happen, they we'll just have to deal. And she was like, "Robin hasn't approved it yet, but there's only a .001 chance that she won't approve it. Maybe she'll say no because of her feud with Nita." And that, made me feel so shitty. I was like, wtf? My first thought it well I don't want to tell anyone if it's not going to happen. And my second thought it, why the hell would you say that Meghan? Why would you put me through this rollercoaster of doubt and fear. It'll be so...disappointed and humiliating if I don't get this promotion. And for some reason, I feel like something bad is bound to happen because life has been so good for me. Isn't that terrible? That I have this kind of thinking? I can't help myself though...I'm a bit of a pessimist at heart. I just want to know that it's done and approved so I can get on with my life. Seriously.
To add onto that "also," Adam ended up telling Abbi about my promotion. She came up to me at the end of the day and said "Congratulations on your new promotion. I'm really happy for you." And I was so happy that she said that, but it's so hard for me to be happy when I see tears and frustration in her eyes because she hasn't been able to find a job for the past 6 or 7 months. And I say words to placate and to make her feel better, but nothing that I say in that moment makes her feel better. I feel so terrible, and I want to talk to her, but I have no idea what I can say that won't sound trite. Sigh. I hope and pray that she finds something. And I'm glad that she has Augustine to help her in this really rough time.
To add onto that "also," Adam ended up telling Abbi about my promotion. She came up to me at the end of the day and said "Congratulations on your new promotion. I'm really happy for you." And I was so happy that she said that, but it's so hard for me to be happy when I see tears and frustration in her eyes because she hasn't been able to find a job for the past 6 or 7 months. And I say words to placate and to make her feel better, but nothing that I say in that moment makes her feel better. I feel so terrible, and I want to talk to her, but I have no idea what I can say that won't sound trite. Sigh. I hope and pray that she finds something. And I'm glad that she has Augustine to help her in this really rough time.
counting my chickens and the year of me
So, I've decided that this year is going to be the year of taking care of me. I decided this after I signed up for a year of massage, and then felt guilty for spending 60 bucks a month on myself haha. But as I began to think about it, I realized that this is a very important year for me--as far as the steps that I've chosen to take. I'm starting new endeavors--I'm volunteering at new places, and I'm starting a new job. I'm expanding my horizons--I'm becoming involved in a new small group, and really trying to get this game night thing going regularly. I'm trying to lose weight. I want to be healthier, thinner, and happier with my body overall. I'm trying to get enough sleep--I've discovered that sleep is my secret weapon. Being focused on getting enough sleep has kept my on this diet and exercise plan. It literally is "a" if not "the" difference.
I'm starting so many new things and as I think about these things, I sincerely want to do and be at my best. I want to make a difference, I want to make new friends, find new joys, and spend some time making my personal life a little better. This means, that I do need to spend some time focusing on me. I've come to terms with this fact, and I don't feel any guilt about it. Before I can love someone else, really and truly, I need to learn how to love the person I'm closest to...which is myself. So here's to the year of me. I pray that's it's prosperous, fulfilling, and full of joy and new experiences.
As far as counting my chickens before they hatched, I probably should have waited to sign up for the massage until I had gotten the word of when exactly my promotion would happen. I'm going to have to have a tight pay period on the 15th cause $60 unbudgeted dollars is coming out of my pre-raise paycheck. Sigh.
I'm starting so many new things and as I think about these things, I sincerely want to do and be at my best. I want to make a difference, I want to make new friends, find new joys, and spend some time making my personal life a little better. This means, that I do need to spend some time focusing on me. I've come to terms with this fact, and I don't feel any guilt about it. Before I can love someone else, really and truly, I need to learn how to love the person I'm closest to...which is myself. So here's to the year of me. I pray that's it's prosperous, fulfilling, and full of joy and new experiences.
As far as counting my chickens before they hatched, I probably should have waited to sign up for the massage until I had gotten the word of when exactly my promotion would happen. I'm going to have to have a tight pay period on the 15th cause $60 unbudgeted dollars is coming out of my pre-raise paycheck. Sigh.
I can do it!
So, today's little motivator seems a little cheesy to me. Ok, it seems a lot cheesy to me. It's basically a "you're through the week, how do you feel, kick away your bad thoughts, nothing can stop you, YAH!" kind of chapter. Which is all well and good. It's nice to be encouraged. And it's good to be reminded that I need to be my own cheerleader. The book says to put sticky notes everywhere with encouraging "I can do it" messages. I don't think that's what I need...works for some people, but I don't think notes like that will do much else than make me feel a little...dumb...or make me laugh. However, I will do the little assignment and I will try to positively about this lifestyle change when it gets hard.
I can do it because I have shown myself to be capable of so many other things in life.
I can do it because I'm strong, stubborn, and willful.
I can do it because I have a strong desire to be healthier and look thinner.
I can do it because I have a strong faith.
I can do it because I have friends and family to help back me up.
I can do it because I am determined and am not going to let anybody or anyone get in my way.
I can do it because it's not just about me right here and right now, but it's about my future and having life to the fullest in ALL ways.
2 John might just be the tiniest book in the Bible. It's basically a repeat of 1 John to a different person...a woman who apparently has raised her kids right.
"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love." vs. 6
It's pretty simple...why is it so hard for us to get? If this is Jesus' command--to walk in love--why do so many people see Christians as hateful? It baffles, hurts, and frustrates me that there are so many of us humans misrepresenting the faith. So many of us misunderstand what God is trying to say and do. Kinda like when Jesus came. God, help me to see, hear, understand, and act on what you are calling me to do. Help me not to get caught up in what and who man says you are, but help me to know you and to follow and obey you. Help me to love others. I pray that people will know me by my love.
I can do it because I have shown myself to be capable of so many other things in life.
I can do it because I'm strong, stubborn, and willful.
I can do it because I have a strong desire to be healthier and look thinner.
I can do it because I have a strong faith.
I can do it because I have friends and family to help back me up.
I can do it because I am determined and am not going to let anybody or anyone get in my way.
I can do it because it's not just about me right here and right now, but it's about my future and having life to the fullest in ALL ways.
2 John might just be the tiniest book in the Bible. It's basically a repeat of 1 John to a different person...a woman who apparently has raised her kids right.
"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love." vs. 6
It's pretty simple...why is it so hard for us to get? If this is Jesus' command--to walk in love--why do so many people see Christians as hateful? It baffles, hurts, and frustrates me that there are so many of us humans misrepresenting the faith. So many of us misunderstand what God is trying to say and do. Kinda like when Jesus came. God, help me to see, hear, understand, and act on what you are calling me to do. Help me not to get caught up in what and who man says you are, but help me to know you and to follow and obey you. Help me to love others. I pray that people will know me by my love.
Monday, January 11, 2010
avocado anyone?
I took my body measurements. Not good. Apparently I'm avocado shaped :/ It says you want to be more pear shaped because if you're apple shaped then you're storing excessive fat in you abdominal regions. So I'm in the middle of pear and apple. Pear and apple shape just conjure up blech for me. Cause the body shape most women want is hourglass. However, I realize that that's not even an option, so I should just stop obsessing and accept the fact that...I am avocado shaped. Sigh.
...
Sidenote: I almost had an aneurysm and/or heart attack carrying a 5, 5 gallon buckets up and down stairs. Thankfully only 2 of them had to go up THREE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS. Sigh. Why did I tell them I would have the paint waiting in the apartment for them? Curses. On a better note, probably gave me a little bit of a workout haha.
today
Today I woke up at 7 wanting to wash and straighten my hair and look cute today. I'm looking at the clock and my "reading/devotion" time has expanded to 45 minutes. Which is not necessarily a bad thing...but if I want to exercise and eat breakfast AND pack a healthy lunch without being late for work...the whole hair business is going to have to wait until tonight. Sigh. So I will work out, I'm going to make breakfast and prep lunch, and I'll make sure we have paint for the apartment (argh), as well as prep my thank you letters to go out. Ok. time to get ready for the day!
Protect Your Program
"No one will ever care as much about your diet plan as you. So it's your job to prevent people or events from pulling you off track. Instead of depending on others to help you be successful with your diet, make a commitment that you will 'protect your program at all costs!"
I like the way that this is phrased because it one, places importance on my decision to lose weight. And two it makes it quite clear that not only is it important, but it also is something worth being protected. The book says to watch for, recognize, and avoid situations in which you might be tempted. Then it goes on to give you a key phrase to say to people when they offer you food "not just yet" or some variation of that. It says that if people continue to push, you're supposed to repeat that phrase, and basically avoid and stall and that "no one will notice you never ate at the party." I don't agree with that kind of avoid/stall kind of mindset. I think being honest and saying "It was very good, but I'm trying to watch portions" Is perfectly fine to say. If someone is offended or doesn't understand, they're probably very DENSE.
They also said to avoid discussion about diet and weight loss because "talking about food make us want to eat." I'm not sure that's true. If we're sitting around talking about scrumptious food, ok I get that. But talking with someone about your weight loss, struggles, etc. do not necessarily make one hungry. In fact, those conversations tend to be the most encouraging because people are usually have their own stories of trying to become healthier people.
It says to protect your program during "long empty times" like evenings or weekends. This is a great tip. Evenings and weekends have generally been my biggest "emotional eating" time. I generally just eat out of boredom instead of when I'm hungry. I'm proud to say that I did a great job of monitoring my eating habits this weekend and successfully stayed on my program. Go me!
High Risk Times
--Work. I tend to eat more/want to snack more at work.
--Being out with friend. We usually go to bars/places that are generally not very healthy.
--Weekends/Evenings. I usually get the "i'm bored I want to eat" feeling
--Parent's hose. They always have food like corn dogs, etc. (Along with healthy food) but I always want to eat the corn dogs and ice cream.
Protecting my Program
--At work I'll bring healthy snacks like popcorn and pre-sorted (can't think of the right word!) cookies. If I decide to snack on something I'll look at the calories, decide if it's worth it, then take one serving.
--If I'm out with a friend, I'll first try to plan my eating that day so that I can eat more calories when I'm out. If it's spontaneous, then I'll try to order the healthiest thing on the menu.
--I have been focused on having easy to make foods as well as things I enjoy eating. I'm also practicing self control and asking myself "am I really hungry?" SparkPeople has been helping me b/c I track my calories and that's a big motivator.
--At my parent's house I'll take advantage of all those good snacks that they have around but nobody wants to eat. I'll talk with my mom about weight loss (she's on the same path) and we'll encourage each other. Maybe even work out together.
"I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: That if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him" 1 John 5:14-15.
The insecurity of whether or not I would go to heaven always weighed heavy on my mind when I was younger. I think all of those videos/teachings on the rapture and wrath of God really scared me and made me very unsure of his love...it made me very unsure of my love for him and I constantly felt not good enough. As I grew in my faith and realized that my faith and salvation were based on grace (and it took many years to figure that out), that confidence that I would be going to heaven and that I knew him kind of stuck. Every once in a awhile I'll wonder, but I always go back to the fact that "God knows my heart." He knows that I love him, and that I'm doing the best that I can to seek him and do his will. And I think that's all that he asks of us. Well in the lightest sense. I know there are other things, but to love God, and love people is pretty much the root of it all.
I love the part where it says "this is the confidence that we have in approaching God." It implies that it's not a King/Servant relationship, but it's a Father/Daughter relationship. When I approach my dad and ask him for something, I'm not afraid, and I have confidence that if it's something good for me, and that he can reasonably provide it, that he will. My dad does not want to hold back good things from me, and he would do anything in his power to help me. He can't help himself but he spoils me a bit as well too. This is how I see God. If it's "according to his will, he hears us....and we know that we have what we asked of him." That's a great word, and a great feeling. God is good.
I like the way that this is phrased because it one, places importance on my decision to lose weight. And two it makes it quite clear that not only is it important, but it also is something worth being protected. The book says to watch for, recognize, and avoid situations in which you might be tempted. Then it goes on to give you a key phrase to say to people when they offer you food "not just yet" or some variation of that. It says that if people continue to push, you're supposed to repeat that phrase, and basically avoid and stall and that "no one will notice you never ate at the party." I don't agree with that kind of avoid/stall kind of mindset. I think being honest and saying "It was very good, but I'm trying to watch portions" Is perfectly fine to say. If someone is offended or doesn't understand, they're probably very DENSE.
They also said to avoid discussion about diet and weight loss because "talking about food make us want to eat." I'm not sure that's true. If we're sitting around talking about scrumptious food, ok I get that. But talking with someone about your weight loss, struggles, etc. do not necessarily make one hungry. In fact, those conversations tend to be the most encouraging because people are usually have their own stories of trying to become healthier people.
It says to protect your program during "long empty times" like evenings or weekends. This is a great tip. Evenings and weekends have generally been my biggest "emotional eating" time. I generally just eat out of boredom instead of when I'm hungry. I'm proud to say that I did a great job of monitoring my eating habits this weekend and successfully stayed on my program. Go me!
High Risk Times
--Work. I tend to eat more/want to snack more at work.
--Being out with friend. We usually go to bars/places that are generally not very healthy.
--Weekends/Evenings. I usually get the "i'm bored I want to eat" feeling
--Parent's hose. They always have food like corn dogs, etc. (Along with healthy food) but I always want to eat the corn dogs and ice cream.
Protecting my Program
--At work I'll bring healthy snacks like popcorn and pre-sorted (can't think of the right word!) cookies. If I decide to snack on something I'll look at the calories, decide if it's worth it, then take one serving.
--If I'm out with a friend, I'll first try to plan my eating that day so that I can eat more calories when I'm out. If it's spontaneous, then I'll try to order the healthiest thing on the menu.
--I have been focused on having easy to make foods as well as things I enjoy eating. I'm also practicing self control and asking myself "am I really hungry?" SparkPeople has been helping me b/c I track my calories and that's a big motivator.
--At my parent's house I'll take advantage of all those good snacks that they have around but nobody wants to eat. I'll talk with my mom about weight loss (she's on the same path) and we'll encourage each other. Maybe even work out together.
"I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: That if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him" 1 John 5:14-15.
The insecurity of whether or not I would go to heaven always weighed heavy on my mind when I was younger. I think all of those videos/teachings on the rapture and wrath of God really scared me and made me very unsure of his love...it made me very unsure of my love for him and I constantly felt not good enough. As I grew in my faith and realized that my faith and salvation were based on grace (and it took many years to figure that out), that confidence that I would be going to heaven and that I knew him kind of stuck. Every once in a awhile I'll wonder, but I always go back to the fact that "God knows my heart." He knows that I love him, and that I'm doing the best that I can to seek him and do his will. And I think that's all that he asks of us. Well in the lightest sense. I know there are other things, but to love God, and love people is pretty much the root of it all.
I love the part where it says "this is the confidence that we have in approaching God." It implies that it's not a King/Servant relationship, but it's a Father/Daughter relationship. When I approach my dad and ask him for something, I'm not afraid, and I have confidence that if it's something good for me, and that he can reasonably provide it, that he will. My dad does not want to hold back good things from me, and he would do anything in his power to help me. He can't help himself but he spoils me a bit as well too. This is how I see God. If it's "according to his will, he hears us....and we know that we have what we asked of him." That's a great word, and a great feeling. God is good.
dun dun dun!
I wrote a very open and honest email to my bff last night and I went to bed thinking "I think it'll be ok." I woke up slightly in a panic thinking "WTF did I do?!?" But it quickly subsided because I knew in my heart that my bff would respond well to the letter. And that she'd accept me and all that jazz. And guess what. She did :) That, my friends, is true love and trust. Usually that feeling of panic sticks around a bit longer when I'm worried about something, but because I knew in my heart that she cared for me, it subsided pretty quickly. There truly is no fear in love. I'm pretty happy that I listened to God and trusted his instinct. Haha if it had been my instinct it would have been "run, hide, ah!"
So I couldn't wait to weight myself after last night. My starting weight was 246.6 (if you want to be exact hmph). My weight after one week....drumroll....239.4!!! That's 7.2 lbs!! I'm waaaaaaaaay stoked. I did a little dance in my bathroom. That's about 2.9% of my weight. Way to go me. Ok, I need to do my daily reading,exercise, and then check to see if we have paint for the painters. I'm nervous that we've run out. Ugh. Sometimes I am such a slacker manager!
So I couldn't wait to weight myself after last night. My starting weight was 246.6 (if you want to be exact hmph). My weight after one week....drumroll....239.4!!! That's 7.2 lbs!! I'm waaaaaaaaay stoked. I did a little dance in my bathroom. That's about 2.9% of my weight. Way to go me. Ok, I need to do my daily reading,exercise, and then check to see if we have paint for the painters. I'm nervous that we've run out. Ugh. Sometimes I am such a slacker manager!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
What not to do.
Don't weigh yourself at the end of the night....that is unless that's time you normally weigh yourself. It may get you down a bit. We'll see tomorrow morning what the whole weight loss thing officially looks like. I'm nervous. But. If I didn't lose, I just need to figure out what I need to adjust to make a difference. I'm basing it off my original numbers, so there shouldn't be any gain...God forbid. If that happens I might get a bit angry haha.
I didn't get anything (besides working out) done tonight. I spent time with Rab instead. I don't regret it. Some things are more important than boring tasks. Anyway, time to go to bed. See you in the morning!
I didn't get anything (besides working out) done tonight. I spent time with Rab instead. I don't regret it. Some things are more important than boring tasks. Anyway, time to go to bed. See you in the morning!
goals for today
I need to get several things done today. I need to wash my hair, file...everything that needs to get filed, wash and put away my dishes, hang up my clothes, and get everything that needs to get mailed out ready and stamped/addressed. I also need to exercise. How am I going to do this?
Exercise first. That way I won't have to shower again after. Shower and wash my hair. Let me hair air dry while I put away/clean my dishes, file, and pick up my apartment. I want to get this all done before 11 because that's bedtime :) Five hours...I think I can do it :)
Exercise first. That way I won't have to shower again after. Shower and wash my hair. Let me hair air dry while I put away/clean my dishes, file, and pick up my apartment. I want to get this all done before 11 because that's bedtime :) Five hours...I think I can do it :)
Boundaries not diets
"The problem isn't usually with diets themselves, but with the rigid, perfectionist ways we use them."
Today the book talked about how we should look at dieting and a healthy lifestyle not as a rigid, unbendable system, but as a flexible system with boundaries. I like the analogy that she used with the road. There are definite boundaries on a road or path, and you can set them wider or narrower depending on your situation. "But even on a really bad day, you never eliminate the road or get off of it completely." And this is a problem that I've had in the past. If I make ONE mistake, then I abandon the whole thing for the day. And then when I want to start the next day, I say "oh, I didn't do it yesterday..." and so on. When you're traveling on a road, sometimes you veer a little. Usually you hid the bumps in the middle or the road, or something gives you a warning that you are veering. The point is not to freak out and stop OR just continue on your collision course. It's to get back on the road.
Narrow Road:
Exercise every day for 30 minutes. Build up to 60 minutes a day.
Only eat on serving of sugary sweet cookies.
Eat at home 6/7 days of the week for dinner. And pack my lunch 4/5 days.
Drink 120 oz of water every day.
Wider Road:
Exercise every day for 30 minutes.
Eat as many servings as you like of sugary food, as long as it's within your plan of carbs and fat and calories.
Eat at home 4/7 days of the week, but be vigilant about eating healthy choices. Pack my lunch 3/5 days, but be vigilant about eating healthy choices.
Drink 81 oz of water every day.
"You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us." 1 John 4:4-6a
I love how it says that we are from God and have overcome them (meaning the world). It makes me feel victorious, and powerful, and that nothing could hold me back. It intrigued me when it says whoever knows God listens to us. It doesn't make the distinction that everyone in the world does not listen to us. It says they definitely listen to everything that the world says. But I think it's implying that there are some from the world who know God, and if we speak, they will listen. And they are taking things in, even if we don't know it. I really like that because it takes the pressure off of us to be anything other than who we are in God, and it puts the spotlight on that other person and their response to God.
The next part is all about love and how God is love. I would quote this whole section, but it's long, so I'm going to just quote key phrases that stick out to me:
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."vs. 10-12
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." vs.18
"Whoever loves God must also love his brother." vs.21
I love the distinction that WE did not love God first. Richard talked about in his sermon last week that it's not any work that we did. He said that we don't serve God for acceptance, we serve God because he accepted us. It's this whole idea that God pursued and loved us first, which is why we don't have to be afraid. His love was great for us even when we did not know him. He's seen all the junk and despair, and he loved us anyway. That is powerful and convicting. Because it says "since God so loved us, we ought to love one another." That same love that God has for us is the kind of love we are supposed to have for each other. We are supposed to love each other despite the junk and despair. Despite the wrong decisions and the hurtful things that are said. If we love people first, and in the way that God does, they will know him. Because he is love. That is powerful. They will know us by our LOVE. And they love is God. It shows that he is in us. That his love is made complete in us.
I simultaneously love and am convicted by that statement. If I love God, I have to love people. And how do I love people, I get closer to God. I try to get to know him. I let him rub off on me. Because God knows that that love is not naturally in me. I had to include "there's no fear in love." Because, well, that is a statement of my life. I've lived in fear of so many things, and God is faithfully bringing me out and away from that fear and showing me what LOVE, who LOVE is. It's beautifully breathtaking and wonderful. Ah, his word is good :)
Today the book talked about how we should look at dieting and a healthy lifestyle not as a rigid, unbendable system, but as a flexible system with boundaries. I like the analogy that she used with the road. There are definite boundaries on a road or path, and you can set them wider or narrower depending on your situation. "But even on a really bad day, you never eliminate the road or get off of it completely." And this is a problem that I've had in the past. If I make ONE mistake, then I abandon the whole thing for the day. And then when I want to start the next day, I say "oh, I didn't do it yesterday..." and so on. When you're traveling on a road, sometimes you veer a little. Usually you hid the bumps in the middle or the road, or something gives you a warning that you are veering. The point is not to freak out and stop OR just continue on your collision course. It's to get back on the road.
Narrow Road:
Exercise every day for 30 minutes. Build up to 60 minutes a day.
Only eat on serving of sugary sweet cookies.
Eat at home 6/7 days of the week for dinner. And pack my lunch 4/5 days.
Drink 120 oz of water every day.
Wider Road:
Exercise every day for 30 minutes.
Eat as many servings as you like of sugary food, as long as it's within your plan of carbs and fat and calories.
Eat at home 4/7 days of the week, but be vigilant about eating healthy choices. Pack my lunch 3/5 days, but be vigilant about eating healthy choices.
Drink 81 oz of water every day.
"You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us." 1 John 4:4-6a
I love how it says that we are from God and have overcome them (meaning the world). It makes me feel victorious, and powerful, and that nothing could hold me back. It intrigued me when it says whoever knows God listens to us. It doesn't make the distinction that everyone in the world does not listen to us. It says they definitely listen to everything that the world says. But I think it's implying that there are some from the world who know God, and if we speak, they will listen. And they are taking things in, even if we don't know it. I really like that because it takes the pressure off of us to be anything other than who we are in God, and it puts the spotlight on that other person and their response to God.
The next part is all about love and how God is love. I would quote this whole section, but it's long, so I'm going to just quote key phrases that stick out to me:
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."vs. 10-12
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." vs.18
"Whoever loves God must also love his brother." vs.21
I love the distinction that WE did not love God first. Richard talked about in his sermon last week that it's not any work that we did. He said that we don't serve God for acceptance, we serve God because he accepted us. It's this whole idea that God pursued and loved us first, which is why we don't have to be afraid. His love was great for us even when we did not know him. He's seen all the junk and despair, and he loved us anyway. That is powerful and convicting. Because it says "since God so loved us, we ought to love one another." That same love that God has for us is the kind of love we are supposed to have for each other. We are supposed to love each other despite the junk and despair. Despite the wrong decisions and the hurtful things that are said. If we love people first, and in the way that God does, they will know him. Because he is love. That is powerful. They will know us by our LOVE. And they love is God. It shows that he is in us. That his love is made complete in us.
I simultaneously love and am convicted by that statement. If I love God, I have to love people. And how do I love people, I get closer to God. I try to get to know him. I let him rub off on me. Because God knows that that love is not naturally in me. I had to include "there's no fear in love." Because, well, that is a statement of my life. I've lived in fear of so many things, and God is faithfully bringing me out and away from that fear and showing me what LOVE, who LOVE is. It's beautifully breathtaking and wonderful. Ah, his word is good :)
green eyed monster
I find myself reading things on facebook and getting jealous. Mostly it's because I see my friends are out and about, doing things and having fun without me. I read an article about how facebook causes people to be depressed, because they see everyone else having fun and they wonder "why didn't I get invited?" I'm trying to figure out where my jealousy stems from, because I think it's an ugly and hurtful attitude that can lead to ugly and hurtful things.
I think I'm self centered. I like to think in my head that the best time can only be had with me. So when I see people having fun with others, I get jealous. How dare they have fun without me! I've been perfectly content to stay home this weekend and chill, but when I see others going out and having fun, I get jealous. It's because I wasn't invited out. And I know in my head that a)I have no money, and b)I probably wouldn't enjoy the activity that they are doing, but I still get hurt/jealous that I wasn't even asked. But I know I wasn't asked because I don't like the activity. But sometimes I think I deliberately am not asked because someone is mad at me, or someone doesn't want me there. I think the worst about people. But you know, I understand that sometimes people want friends of their own. They don't want friends that they share with everyone. And that's what I think is going on.
I think I'm also competitive. I want to be the best at everything, and when I see people having fun and going out, I want to have a night even BETTER than that night. I want to show them that I'm having a better time than they'll ever have and I desire them to be jealous of me.
That,my friends, is a terrible attitude to have. I shouldn't be jealous of someone who has an opportunity to have happiness in their life. I shouldn't be jealous of someone who has the opportunity to have more than I do. I shouldn't begrudge someone the goodness that God has given them. I shouldn't be so competitive that I can't be happy for someone else when they win. I shouldn't be so competitive that I can't let someone win a silly argument. I shouldn't be so focused on being right, and how my being right makes me better than other people. Or if I'm wrong, etc., how that makes me worse than other people.
God has given us the things that we have in our lives for a reason. And we are in the situations that we are in our lives for many different reasons. I need to stop looking at other people's lives and coveting what they have, and assuming things from what they show me. I need to be happy with what others have, and with what I have. I need to be compassionate, open, honest, and wise. God I need you to tone down this competitive spirit that is in me. I like that competition drives me to do better and be better, but I don't like that it drives me to jealousy. I don't want to be competitive in every aspect of my life. I don't want to be so competitive that I drive people away, or that I hurt others. Please help me to use my competitiveness in constructive and applicable ways. Help me to have humility and a gentle spirit.
I think I'm self centered. I like to think in my head that the best time can only be had with me. So when I see people having fun with others, I get jealous. How dare they have fun without me! I've been perfectly content to stay home this weekend and chill, but when I see others going out and having fun, I get jealous. It's because I wasn't invited out. And I know in my head that a)I have no money, and b)I probably wouldn't enjoy the activity that they are doing, but I still get hurt/jealous that I wasn't even asked. But I know I wasn't asked because I don't like the activity. But sometimes I think I deliberately am not asked because someone is mad at me, or someone doesn't want me there. I think the worst about people. But you know, I understand that sometimes people want friends of their own. They don't want friends that they share with everyone. And that's what I think is going on.
I think I'm also competitive. I want to be the best at everything, and when I see people having fun and going out, I want to have a night even BETTER than that night. I want to show them that I'm having a better time than they'll ever have and I desire them to be jealous of me.
That,my friends, is a terrible attitude to have. I shouldn't be jealous of someone who has an opportunity to have happiness in their life. I shouldn't be jealous of someone who has the opportunity to have more than I do. I shouldn't begrudge someone the goodness that God has given them. I shouldn't be so competitive that I can't be happy for someone else when they win. I shouldn't be so competitive that I can't let someone win a silly argument. I shouldn't be so focused on being right, and how my being right makes me better than other people. Or if I'm wrong, etc., how that makes me worse than other people.
God has given us the things that we have in our lives for a reason. And we are in the situations that we are in our lives for many different reasons. I need to stop looking at other people's lives and coveting what they have, and assuming things from what they show me. I need to be happy with what others have, and with what I have. I need to be compassionate, open, honest, and wise. God I need you to tone down this competitive spirit that is in me. I like that competition drives me to do better and be better, but I don't like that it drives me to jealousy. I don't want to be competitive in every aspect of my life. I don't want to be so competitive that I drive people away, or that I hurt others. Please help me to use my competitiveness in constructive and applicable ways. Help me to have humility and a gentle spirit.
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