yay!

I just burned 600+ calories! I fricken LOVE DDR. I just worked up a sweat for 45 minutes and it didn't even feel like exercise...well, let me rephrase that. I love it DESPITE it feeling like exercise. It stimulates my mind with all the steps, so I don't get bored. And it's fun! Plus, it's great cardio. I'm breathing hard, feeling the burn in my muscles, and sweating more than I ever have doing other exercises. I weighed in on the Wii b/c I couldn't help myself. However, I'm going to save my real weigh in "results" until Monday. Alot can happen in a day and I don't wanna jinx myself :) Anyway, I need to get off this thing and clean and make a shopping list. actually, what I shall do is lay around, read wicked, and then make a plan for tomorrow. I must buy toilet paper...so grocery shopping is on the list ;) Okie doke. Time to get my read on!

also...

I love when people ask me what my ethnicity or cultural background. It makes me feel like one, I'm unique and interesting looking enough (in a good way) for people to wonder how you would make a baby like me. And two, I feel proud truly proud of my heritage. I'm glad there are not a lot of people out there who look like me. I really love my face and not to be conceited or anything, but I think I'm uniquely beautiful :) Ok, that's enough of the vanity for now :D

Smaller amounts, less often

I am on day 25! This means I'm 1/4 of the way through this book! woohoo! I'm so stoked. Today the book talked about how to still eat your favorite foods, and to not feel deprived. The solution? "smaller amounts, less often." Instead of eating a 20 piece chicken nugget every day, you say instead, I'll eat at 10 piece once a month instead. That way you won't overindulge because you feel like you're deprived.

I have found that this type of eating is the BEST for me. I don't say no to a lot of things. I put a lot of thought into "do I really need this?" but ultimately, if I want something, I will allow myself to have it. But, I have been really good at only taking a small serving. So, a couple of doritos, one fry, half of a krispie kreme, etc. It's hard for me to completely resist something, so I work with my body and mind instead of against it. For things like brownies and ice cream, I sub in "skinny brownies and ice cream." I've decided that I don't really care about real brownies, so I'm just gonna go with the "fake" ones. And that's been great for me.

Surprisingly enough, my meat of choice has been chicken lately. I usually am super into beef but chicken has been healthier and I don't find myself missing the beef that much. It's weird. Although one of these days I know I'll crave a steak and have to get one. Anyway, I liked this chapter. It reinforced some habits I've already taken on :)

I just want to say that Romans is a LONG book. I'm ready to move on and there's still 3 chapters left haha. Oh well, it has treated me well thus far :)

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law...Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. SO let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not i sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." Romans 13:8,10-14

I really like the first part of letting the only debt left standing be love. It just is kind of a cool image for me. I also love when it says "the hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believe. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here." Thinking of the end times and Jesus coming back has always kinda stirred up sick, fearful thinking for me. But this stirs up excitement, and anticipation. And it makes me think of the here and now. The fact that I'm understanding God more, so my salvation is "coming nearer." And that my dark hours are becoming less and less, and that my days will be sunnier and sunnier. And that one day, there will be light all the time. That's kinda beautiful to think about.

I feel like this Bible reading has made me more open to seeing God in life and hearing him speak to me. It's been...wonderfully guilty free, and I feel like I'm growing and learning and blooming. God is good. He is faithful and kind. I'm so glad he loves me and considers me worthwhile. I'm glad he knows me.

Yay me.

Phew, I got started late on my day. I've pretty much spent the entire day in my bed...which...is kinda sad. I did learn a new song on my guitar. I did write and actually get some "brain time" in, and I had a unexpected God moment that took my breath away and brought me to tears(which you can read about on my other blog). OH I pooped and I think peppers are a diuretic for me. Seriously. Every time I eat them, I have to poop! It's a good thing to know haha. Anyway, it was a perfectly lazy day, and while I feel like I could have gotten more accomplished (done my taxes, cleaned my apartment, picked clothes, gone grocery shopping--which I might still do), I feel peaceful and rested.

I just want to say that I feel like I have been making AWESOME choices lately. One, in the whole trying to be a good friend arena. I didn't cancel on a friend who I supposed to hang out with last night (even though I really really wanted to) and I ended up having a lot of fun. Usually, if I don't want to do something, I won't...even if I say I would. So, I'm proud of myself for sticking to it.

Also, I took the girls out the The Ram for lunch yesterday (not with my money of course). They had a calorie menu and after looking at it and the calorie counts, I decided on a chicken sandwich and onion rings. They were delish and low calorie :) I'm so proud of myself. I also chose a salad for dinner and it was perfect. I'm so happy that I'm choosing better food for myself when eating out. It makes me feel not deprived bc I can still go out and socialize and be normal.

I'm also eating at home more often so I'm saving money and eating better. Yay!

I weighed myself today and despite being in the middle of my period, I've lost a pound so far and am fluctuating around losing another pound. I'm excited to see them slowly shed. I can't wait to weigh in on Monday...although I know I'll be super nervous. It's nice because things are fitting better and people have said that they see a difference. Which, I don't know if it's true, but I'll take it!

Also, I feel very appreciated by my boss. She put in my raise a whole pay period before I was supposed to get it. So I unexpectedly got more money this pay period, and it was such a blessing. God is good!

:D

Worked out this morning. 20 minutes, but it was better than nothing. I decided that my health, and working out was more important to me than my looks and straightening my hair. I'm proud of myself!w

Eat for Satisfaction

"For your brain to achieve satisfaction, you have to eat slowly, pay attention to the bites, and appreciate food."

This is pretty similar to the whole savoring idea. Taking time with your food and really paying attention to what you're eating. I think I'm doing this more, but oftentimes food is just food to me--I'm starving and need something to fill my hunger. I have a friend who's a slow eater who reallllly enjoys food. Maybe I should be more like that? hm.

Anyway, I've found that what what works best for me when it comes to food, is allowing myself to have a little bit of something. If I want candy, to have a couple of bites. Or if I want doritos, to have 3 of 4 chips. I thought that I would want more, but it usually suffices...which is kinda cool. I'm pretty happy with my eating habits...heck with my exercise and sleep habits as well.

Not sure if I'm going to exercise before work today--I have to be at work in 1.5 hours and will need to probably straighten my hair which takes about 30 minutes. I don't think I'll do it tonight...but maybe I will. So, basically I can work out for maybe 20, shower, and then possibly straighten my hair. If I finish my Bible reading in the next 5. Sigh, here we go!

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by grace given me I say to every one of your: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Romans 12:1-3

This chapter has a lot of good tidbits on loving others, being devoted to each other. I do love the first verses though. In view of everything that Paul has said, which I have discovered is wonderful, in view of God's mercy, we should offer ourselves to God as worship. After reading this, it's pretty clear that this is the best thing that we can do, is give our life into his hands. To say, "clearly, you have this whole thing under control and can work my life to the highest potential, so, here you go." The funny thing is is that even in light of this, I still have a hard time giving up control. I feel like I'm being slowly transformed. I feel like he's renewing my mind. But there's still some holdouts in there. There's still some jealousy, competition, greed, pride, lust, laziness, and who knows what else in there.

So, in light of the sober judgment, I'm going to to keep relinquishing control. I'm going to continue to work on humbling myself and confessing my sins, and those kinds of things. Because I'm not there yet, and I still need my mind to be renewed. I still have not completed my transformation. But God is good. He is helping me day by day. love it.

Savoring

So today the book talked about one of my weaknesses--savoring food. Taking tiny bites and really paying attention to flavor, texture, and all that great stuff. It says that when you savor food, you usually don't end up wanting more of it (specifically talking about sweets). I was really proud of myself because yesterday, Angela made these chocolate chip brownie bars which looked bomb. I was eating my apples (sigh) and they were just staring in my face. I decided to have one, but I chose the smallest piece on there. Usually, I would have taken one of the large,middle pieces because those are my favorite. But I took the small, end piece and enjoyed it much more because 1. I felt like my way of thinking had changed and I made a good decisions and 2. I could actually enjoy it without feeling guilty.

My body has been really sore lately--part of it is my period which decided to come late last night. So of course my lower back...my whole back...is pretty achy. And my feet are achy as well. I'm thinking it's the whole never having a time to sit down at work thing haha. Which is great. I'm kinda glad I'm on my feet and working hard. I just gotta make sure I take care of them and make that massage appt!

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! 'Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor' 'Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:33-36

Romans 11 contains a lot of talk about Israel and being grafted in and things like that...which honestly, didn't interest me very much. I'm starting to feel less guilty when I don't "get" something from my Bible reading. In fact, I don't really feel guilty at all anymore. When I was younger it seemed like it was always my quest to FIND something and to HEAR something, but sometimes you don't. Sometimes it's just the dedication to the relationship that keeps it going...not the sparks or exciting moments. I did like the above verse. :)

Alrighty, I need to work out. They say working out makes your period/cramps feel better. I will test that theory today. Oh, no school tomorrow but I work at 7am. Ah. Adam wanted to see Avatar with me tonight, but I really want to go to bed early enough so that I can wake up and kick but on my workout. So we'll see what happens. I do get to take some teen girls shopping which will be f.u.n. ok, peace out.

so remember that whole schedule thing?

Yea, that didn't work so well today. In fact, the only thing I did do was eat a 100 calorie pack around snack time and then some apples at group. So, I'm thinking that maybe I should take it slow, get used to my new job, and THEN start a new routine. I love my job by the way, and I am really loving life. Small group has been sooooo good lately, especially tonight I don't know what it was. And, I'm excited for the underground tour and possibly other hang out times. We actually hung out afterwards and chatted which was nice. Steve & Martha were like, 'if you ever need a ride, you can ask us." And lindsay and matt also offered to pick me up to go to the tour. So, I feel taken care of a bit. I don't know it's the little things sometimes :) I feel like I'm getting to know these people better, and I'm really starting to like them a lot.

And, i looked in the mirror today and thought "wow my face looks weird." And I looked closer and saw that my jawline is slowly coming through and I am looking more like my mom every day. It's crazy. I actually saw a bit of her in my face. Which, is not a bad thing cause I think she's gorgeous so, I'm excited! And then I talked to her on the phone and it made me just think of how much I love her and our relationship, and how much I love my family. Life is good, God is good. And I'm proud of myself to boot. Yay.

Multitask with food

So today the book kinda added a bit to the previous chapter about eating with awareness. It talked about how for many people, you need or want to do other things while eating. So, you may need to work on your computer, be watching your kids, or want to read a book. The key to doing this while you eat is being aware of every single bite you are putting in your mouth. It describes a little activity that you can do, which is cool.

I like that it says that it's ok to multitask and gives you ways you can multitask. A strict "no eating while doing anything else" is unreasonable and unmanageable for most. People. Making food and your health a priority is the importance in this. Catching yourself if you're wolfing things down instead of eating slowly and paying attention. Anyway, I enjoyed this chapter. AND! I wanted to say, remember those skittles that Keana bought me last week? They are still sitting in my desk waiting to be eaten. Well, I gave Adam a serving, but I still have one serving left and haven't even really been tempted. Awesome eh? I'm proud :)

"If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus if Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved....for 'everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'" Romans 8:9-10, 13

"And Isaiah boldly says, 'I was found by those who did not seek me; I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me.'" v. 20

This is a verse that has caused many of us to say "well what about those who haven't heard?" What about people who haven't heard the name Jesus, or don't know that he is the one they seek? I believe that those who believe and haven't heard, and who follow what God is telling them to do with their lives, and confess that there is someone greater, that they will be saved. I believe that God knows their hearts, that he knows who is seeking and who is not. He knows who has heard his voice and responded, and who has not. And I love the fact that this verse says that he was found by those not seeking and he revealed himself to those not asking. Because he is good and merciful like that, he just does it. He shows himself and he gives of himself. He gives people chances and opportunities. He speaks to peoples hearts and minds.

Today is a non-workout day (yay Wednesdays!), which is good because my feet and ankles are SORE. My legs are sore too, but I just noticed that my feet are probably really beat up from all the footwork, jumping, and exercise I do. Maybe a nice bath tonight will help that...we'll see if I get home early enough to do it. I do have to do dishes and listen to Richard's sermon for SG tonight. So, gotta roll out of bed soonly.

some goals

So, I was thinking as I was walking home today, how working with the kids is really causing me to not eat enough calories. Well, it's not just them, but I think it helps my whole not eating calories thing. I need to make sure I pack good snacks *fruits and veggies to munch on. And eat regularly. Also, I need to make sure I'm intaking my water regularly.

So, I've decided to devise a schedule.

Before I start my daily blogging, I need to fill up my water bottle and start drinking.

Before 9:30, I need to have eaten and finished working out.

9:30-10:30, I need to have finished my first water bottle, and be showered and ready to go.

10:45 Head out to work with my lunch packed.

By 1:00 I need to have my 2nd water bottle done with. Make sure I eat a sensible lunch.

I need to eat a snack at 2:00 to keep my energy going. I then need to eat snack and make sure my 3rd water bottle is done with by the end of homework time 5:00.

I need to drink my 3rd water bottle at least an hour before I go to bed so I don't get up after I get warm and toasty.

Hopefully that'll help me to be more consistent with my eating habits and also with my water. And with the timing of the snacks, I'll be eating with the kids so they won't be jealous :)

Ok, I hope I can throw my laundry in soon so I can go to bed :)

one day...

One day, I will see my clavicles again. I think clavicles are some of the sexiest parts on a woman. Mine will be sharp and visible and sexy. Yay.

Sidenote--I put on some underwear I haven't worn in a while, and they fit better than they every did. Don't know how to explain except they always seemed a little small (boyshorts). Now they actually LOOK like boyshorts. Yay!

One Day...

One day, when I work out, my thighs are not going to jiggle and slap together. :)

cold!

It's really hard for me to get out of my warm bed to exercise. I have been procrastinating for 15 minutes. It's too cold out there...but once I start working out I'll be warm...just...gotta...get...out...of...bed. Ok. here we go.

Eat with Awareness

The book asked "have you ever eaten a candy bar, and wondered where it went?" Haha YES. I do this all the time. Then I often accuse people of hiding or eating my food. I'll be like "hey! where did my french fry go? Did you eat my french fry?!?" in an accusatory voice. Once I realize it's not on my plate and I didn't drop it, I resign myself to the fact that I already ate it :/

"When you eat with no awareness you miss out on the flavor, texture, and sensation of your food. Because you didn't 'get' the taste you wanted, you may still yearn for it so you eat more."

I like and am convicted about how the book says we need to enjoy and really "feel" food. You're not supposed to wolf it down, you're supposed to enjoy the "flavor, texture ,and sensation." I am so guilty of wolfing my food down, especially when I'm hungry. I will go to TOWN on a subway sandwich and eat a footlong in like 5 minutes. And then I feel stuffed and lethargic afterwards haha. So. I need to focus on eating, and not wolfing, and I also need to try to not do other things like read and watch tv while I'm eating. That will be really hard for me as I get bored with silence...silence in the air and in my mind. But I guess first I will practice slowing down...then I'll work on the whole eating while distracted thing.

Guess what? I'm on my 21st day! Yay for me :) This doesn't even feel like work anymore. It's seriously like apart of my day. I love new habits.

"It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: 'I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.' Therefore, God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden. One of you will say to me: 'Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?' But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? 'Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this' ' Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?" Romans 9:16-21

This passage is very...confusing for me. I had that same question about "well if you made them and then hardened them, what's the point? is it their fault?" It's wonderful that God has mercy on people, but what does it mean that he hardens whom he wants to harden? I wonder if he hardens people who he knows do not ultimately choose him in the end, so he gives them over to themselves? Like Hitler. Did God know that he would refuse to change his ways no matter what, so he "hardened" him and let him run free? I feel like there are very few people that God hardens. And maybe I'm wrong, but I know that he is a God of mercy, and that mercy triumphs over justice. So in his all knowing, sovereign ways, there must be a reason for this "hardening."

I do like how it specifies with the clay "noble purposes and common use." So maybe its not saying that he gives people over to themselves. Maybe it's saying that some people have higher callings and purposes than others. And that we shouldn't complain about where we are called or who we are made to be because there's a reason he made us that way and called us to that position. Hm. Very interesting chapter...

ouch :)

So I did these jackknife exercises on Sunday. Was like "mmm...these don't seem to be doing anything, must not be doing them right." Yesterday and today my lower abs have been SORE. So I guess they worked haha.

I love waking up rested. I woke up today at 530ish, turned on firefly, then went back to sleep. I dozed until my alarm went off and I felt sooo good. Sleepy still but not that "ugh I want to go back to bed" it was like "mmmmmmm time to wakey wakey." Haha. Sleep is so underrated!

I do not know what is going on with my poops. I haven't had a real poop in days! I don't know whats going on. It's in there, it just doesn't want to come out. I think I'm gonna drink some coffee today and FORCE it to come out. Stupid poops. I LOVE to poop. Why does my body treat me this way? I need to figure out how to have normal poops again or I may go a little crazy. I'm eating fiber AND drinking a bunch of water. WTF?

Oh yea, and I need to stop having to "catch up" on my water drinking and drink 54 oz before bed. One, it always makes me have to go pee right after I get warm and cozy. Which makes me bitter. And two, when I wake up, my bladder is painfully bloated and I have a 5 minute pee haha. Hmmm...maybe thats why my poops are having trouble...not spacing my water out correctly...meh. WebMD here I come.

I can't remember what other little snippet I was gonna put on here. Oh well. Gotta do my reading, blogging, then working out. Adios.

not discouraged

So, my whole workout I was like "why did I only lose 1 lb?" Is it because I haven't been eating the right amount of calories (ie going under)? Is it because I'm working out too much? Is it because of PMS and period stuff? Is it because I didn't poop. The whole time I was thinking about it. I worked out, got back on the scale, 235.2. Well there's my 2 lbs. But it didn't feel satisfying...because I always weigh myself before I work out, and I wanted to be that weight before I worked out.

And as I'm thinking about this, I have to reiterate what I said before. One pound is fine. In fact, it's more than fine, it's great. I've lost one more pound than most people this week. I am ahead of the curve. On my mind is disappointment as I report back to the others my small weight loss, and the fact that they're probably going to lose at least 2 lbs and I just feel like a loser. But guess what? It doesn't matter. I'm not in this change to compete and compare myself to others. I'm in it to get support and to support others and to do what I need to do to be healthy.

You know what? I weighed myself and then put my shirt back on, and I was like "ick, why is it wet?" Then I realized it was my sweat. I work out so hard that I sweat. Gross, but awesome. I have been doing this faithfully for 20 days. I've been watching my calories, making better choices, exercising, sleeping well. I haven't felt this good in a long time. My life is coming together in so many ways and I have so many things to be thankful for. Only 1 lb my ass. I lost one fucking pound! That's something to be proud of. And I ate out THREE times this week (bbq pork, fries, and a salad with ranch on monday, footlong sub on friday, and chicken strip salad with ranch on saturday). And I still lost a pound. So there bad attitude. In your face. I'm not going to let my dysfunctional, unreasonable self talk me out of something I should be happy about.

My goals for this week are to work out 6 days for at least 36 minutes. I also want to keep my calories within the range. I keep going under, and I want to be more consistent about that. I also want to make sure my apartment is clean and I get some laundry done this week. Oh yea, and send out those letters. gah!

tracker

So I just tracked my weight at Spark People and I'm still below the goal line for my total weight loss by November. I'm still on the right track, in fact I'm beating the right track. This is NOT a setback. I'm still progressing. I'm doing the right things. I should track my measurements again as well to see how I'm losing inches...if I'm losing inches :) I can feel my clothes fitting looser so that's nice. Anyway, off to work out then straighten my hair. (Didn't get any cleaning done yesterday so I'm going to have to work something out tonight...blech).

weigh in

*sigh* I'm bloated and can't poop. I haven't pooped for at least 2 days. Not really sure what's up. I do know that my lower back is hurting and I'm about to start me period...so...yea. All this lends to the excuse of my weigh in, and for me, the disappointing loss...1 lb. I know I should be happy, but what happened to earlier in the week when I was down 2 lbs? I for sure thought that I would be down at least 3 lbs today and it definitely did not happen. *sigh* I'll try to take my 1 lb graciously. That means I'm down 10 lbs since I've started actually keeping track. That is great! I don't know what I'm sulking for. I'm down 10 lbs. Yay me! I'm going to get through this week, continue to eat well and exercise, and see where I'm at next week.

Half off special

When we go to restaurants, it's hard to know what an appropriate serving size. The book says to just half everything you eat. If you're having lasagna, picture a normal size you would take and cut it in half. If you're doing a multiple course meal, half everything so you get a taste but don't overdo it. And don't go back for seconds. "I you crave seconds, you're probably hooked on the taste of the food rather than needing more fuel." It said that a good serving size for pizza is two slices for a female (yay me). They also said if you can't seem to stop yourself from finishing the other half, that you need to examine your "emotional needs." "Maybe someting else in your life requires attention or needs to be filled." Body vs. Head.

I just finished 20 days of weight loss. I'm super excited I've gotten this far. I'm motivated to continue going because of great results and just FEELING better. Like I didn't want to wake up at 7, but I'm wide awake and ready to go now. :)

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, Abba, Father." Rom 8:15

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Whom will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he condemns? Christ Jesus, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Vs. 31-35a,37-39

I love the first verse that specifies that we are not slaves but sons. That we are co-heirs with Christ. The more significant part to me is it says that we are not slaves to fear. I was a slave to fear for so long, and I'm day by day throwing off those bondages that have ensnared me for a long time. I can remember a day when fear was so crippling and powerful, and nowadays, it tries to rear it's head but it's conquered pretty easily. God is good.

I love how the next part of the verse talks about how God is for us and graciously gives us ALL things. He loves us immensely, and wants to shower wonderful things on us. It's not enough that he's given us life, he wants to give us overflowing, abundant life. The last part of the verse, the "nothing can separate us" part, is what got me through one of the darkest times in my life. When I was sick, and weak, and depressed, and just having a terribly rough time, that verse got me out of despair. The fact that nothing can separate me from his love helped me to get out of bed the next day. God is good. He loves us. He is faithful and even doting. What a good God.

before and after

I have been looking at before and after pictures of biggest loser contestants AND viewers. It's been really inspiring. Every time I think "oh, it's not possible for me to look that way by november" I see what other people are doing and I tell myself to keep up with the good work. My DDR is quickly becoming easier as I keep working out and I'm excited to keep expanding my time, my agility, and skills. I'm energized and really happy for the changes that I've made. Now, it's time to eat dinner, take a bath, and read Wicked.

one down one to go

It's really hard for me to stay motivated with the Wii fit. It doesn't measure calories burned, so I don't get the satisfaction of saying "yes, I achieved this specific goal." It's fun doing it, and I can feel it working, but I wish there were more measurable things. Ah well. I just did about 45 minutes of the Wii...now it's to the DDR. Go me!

I love Sundays

Sundays are my lazy days. On a Sunday, I generally lie around in bed...only to get up to make lunch and then fall back in bed. It truly is a "day of rest" for me. Saturdays are great. I tend to get stuff done on that day though. Sunday...is my sabbath. I am JUST NOW getting out of bed to do my workout. And you know what? I'm fine with that. I love that I have this day to lavish rest and laziness on myself without feeling guilty. Now, of course, I do have to get up and workout and all that stuff, but I spent 8 hours laying around. A whole workday. That is wondeerrrrfulllllll. I recommend it to any and everyone.

Now, today, I made a DELICIOUS spinach/chicken alfredo with whole wheat pasta and a salad. It was so yummy to my tummy and tastebuds. I've read "wicked" which is really good, and I might even achieve my whole "book in 2 weeks" dealio. Now, it's time for my last chance workout. It's a combination of DDR and the Wii Fit that kicks my but and makes me sweat. I weighed myself and it looks like I'm still down 2 lbs-ish. Hopefully I'll be down a full three tomorrow. After that, I'm going to pick up my apartment and clean a bit. I've found that I am much more peaceful and at ease during the week when everything is pick up and pretty clean...so, I suppose I'll make the effort. Alright, time to kick my own butt.

Eat Reasonable Amounts

Yesterday, I went out to eat after the musical. I was STARVING and I knew if I didn't decide what to eat before I went I would indulge in a large calorie meal like this past Monday when I went...fries included. So, the whole time we were driving to the pub, I was like "I'm going to eat a salad with chicken strips. It's going to be great. I'll dip it in ranch, I love the way the onions, olives, and lettuce mingle with the rest of the flavors to make it really yummy." Seriously. And I thought of how Augustine had a chicken salad the other day, and that it wouldn't be that bad if I kept the ranch on the side and didn't dump it on. We got there, and the bartender was like, "you need to make a quick decision!" and if I hadn't been already coaching and thinking ahead of what I was going to get, I know I would have gotten something not as wise because I was ravenous. I'm also happy because I didn't finish the second drink that I foolishly got. I felt like I should...that I would be wasting it if I just...let it go...but I didn't. I let it go! I am proud of myself. It was definitely good...even though he accidentally gave me bleu cheese. Blech. I've been doing this for almost 20 days, and I can see how my habits are slowly changing. It takes a bit of time to retrain yourself, but it does and will happen. :)

Ok, so back to the book. Today the chapter talked about portions and if we really know what right portion sizes are. I'm still at the point where I'm measuring everything out for myself. Today I made spinach chicken alfredo and had my little measuring cup out haha. But I do think it's important to know serving sizes when you go out. I like the "handful" method they talked about, and I liked that it emphasized that different people might need different things according to their diet/body. I'll just continue to measure, and I suppose I will practice to see if I can get the servings right without measuring cups as well. It is important :)

"Do you not know, brothers--for I am speaking to men who know the law--that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives?.....SO my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God" Rom 7:1,4

I love this imagery that we are no longer controlled and condemned by the law. When we were under the law, all we could see was our sin. All it revealed was our sin. There was nothing more it could do. We are called to live and serve "in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code." v 6 When they only had the law, they had to do a bunch of rituals, and enact a lot of things to get forgiveness of sins. We are freely offered forgiveness. And this doesn't mean that we sin more...instead it's supposed to invoke feelings of freedom. It's like when someone tells you not to do something. You want to do it. You can't help yourself. You almost feel compelled. That's what the law did to us. It stirred up our sinful nature. And we were condemned.

But with Christ's death, we have forgiveness, and no condemnation. It makes me want to serve and love the one who gave it to me, not continue to sin and live the life in bondage to my own rules and stipulations. This is true freedom, true grace, true forgiveness. It's wonderful and overwhelming and frankly, I still can't get my head wrapped around it cause it's too good to be true. I honestly never cared for Romans...I think I partially felt condemned by it and didn't understand it truly, and I felt like I took the "good news" for granted. Not any more. This is an phenomenally eye opening and humbling book. I'm really enjoying how he breaks things down and logically reiterates points. Love it.